Kale and I are getting to go out to dinner alone tonight, thanks to my mom offering to watch all the girls for us. I think she may even keep all four over night for once. Not that I really care, usually once Delilah is in bed she is there for the night.
Kale had lunch with Aidan today and read her class a story or two. He even took Sophia with him, which was nice. I got to be alone for awhile as Delilah went down for a nap and is still down. She doesn't feel well and had her immunizations given to her yesterday. I was surprised they let her get them as she was coming down with a cold. I think she is moving on to ear infection now. FUN!
Kale and Sophia are going back to the school here in a little while for Lilly's holiday party. Then after school we are dropping the four of them at my mom's house for the rest of the evening. He finally decided he wants to eat at Olive Garden and have dessert at Cheesecake Factory. Fine by me.
Tomorrow the six of us are going to see Bolt and having lunch at Panera Bread, after the girls clean their rooms. And we have to put our tree up still. :S This is the first time since I have been an adult that my tree has not gone up the day after Thanksgiving. I just couldn't lift it by myself and we have been so busy the last two days.
We were lucky Kale was able to get on the very first flight out of Jacksonville on Wed. I was worried we were going to miss our family picture appointment. That was a whirlwind day. We picked Kale up, went to Walmart, came home, got ourselves and the younger two ready, went and surprised the girls at the school, came home, got them ready, met Jason & Rosy so they could follow us, got our pictures done, high tailed it to the school just in the nick of time for Lilly's play, watched the play, and came home where everyone (my parents and the teens also) had pizza for dinner. It was tiring, but a good day.
All of our days, I think, will be tiring but good. Kale just caught Sophia painting her finger and toe nails. One of my aunts bought Aidan make-up, AGAIN, this year. They never think of me when they buy such things. Last year Aidan painted the walls and her toys with the nail polish. It's not peel off nail polish either, GRRR!
Hope everyone has a fun weekend!
Showing posts with label Embarrassment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Embarrassment. Show all posts
Friday, December 19
Monday, December 15
COLD!
It's gone from 5 degrees to 2 degrees in the last hour. It's cold. We don't normally get this kind of cold in KS, it's more like the cold we dealt with the three years we spent in MA. The windchill today is -14 degrees. Kale is going to freeze his a** off tomorrow night and probably every day he is here. Cuba is nice and toasty warm, but I don't feel a bit sorry for him having to come here to freezing temps.
I spoke with my mother about the situation with Lilly's teacher. My mom is a principal and has been for 12+ years so I often go to her for guidance. I like to run things by her first to make sure I am not worrying for nothing or going overboard. She thinks I am completely justified feeling the way I do. She mirrored my opinion that the teacher just doesn't want to do her JOB. So I took her advice and I asked for a meeting with the principal. Kale and I will be going together, when it comes to my kids I tend to get overly emotional and feel like I am being attacked, even if I really am not. So I need someone to be there to calm me. I wish my mom could go with me, but she hasn't the time and she likes to make me handle things myself. If it goes further though, I think she will step in and help out.
Aidan is getting sassier and sassier. I wanted to smack her yesterday. We had our Christmas with Jason, Rosy, and Alan since they are leaving next Friday. And Aidan had two gifts to open, one from them and one from my Aunt Mel. The only reason she had the second gift was because my uncle decided they needed to open more than one and brought the gifts from her over. After Aidan opened her two gifts, loving both of them, expressing thanks, all that good stuff, then came the water works and the "I don't have any more presents to open!" Then the screams "I WANT MORE PRESENTS TO OPEN!" I cut her off quickly, which is how you have to deal with Aidan so it doesn't escalate quickly. Usually when I am with my family my dad steps in and starts yelling and arguing with her, it just makes it worse. They usually end up in a screaming match, really they are like the same person. The louder someone yells at them, the louder they yell. It's lovely when they get into it with each other. I was able to get her to go to sit by herself and calm down rather quickly. I am not sure, but I think this behavior is going to take something drastic to get it to stop. Like taking away a present or something the next time she does it. Selfishness is not something I take very well, it drives me NUTS! And she is the only child that acts that way, the others are happy with what they get. Not her, she always wants MORE.
I guess if she does it again I will be taking her to donate a toy or two to Toy's for Tots, out of her own Christmas presents. She needs to learn selflessness. I am just not sure how to teach it, I will figure it out though, I know it.
Tomorrow! He will be here tomorrow night! :)
I spoke with my mother about the situation with Lilly's teacher. My mom is a principal and has been for 12+ years so I often go to her for guidance. I like to run things by her first to make sure I am not worrying for nothing or going overboard. She thinks I am completely justified feeling the way I do. She mirrored my opinion that the teacher just doesn't want to do her JOB. So I took her advice and I asked for a meeting with the principal. Kale and I will be going together, when it comes to my kids I tend to get overly emotional and feel like I am being attacked, even if I really am not. So I need someone to be there to calm me. I wish my mom could go with me, but she hasn't the time and she likes to make me handle things myself. If it goes further though, I think she will step in and help out.
Aidan is getting sassier and sassier. I wanted to smack her yesterday. We had our Christmas with Jason, Rosy, and Alan since they are leaving next Friday. And Aidan had two gifts to open, one from them and one from my Aunt Mel. The only reason she had the second gift was because my uncle decided they needed to open more than one and brought the gifts from her over. After Aidan opened her two gifts, loving both of them, expressing thanks, all that good stuff, then came the water works and the "I don't have any more presents to open!" Then the screams "I WANT MORE PRESENTS TO OPEN!" I cut her off quickly, which is how you have to deal with Aidan so it doesn't escalate quickly. Usually when I am with my family my dad steps in and starts yelling and arguing with her, it just makes it worse. They usually end up in a screaming match, really they are like the same person. The louder someone yells at them, the louder they yell. It's lovely when they get into it with each other. I was able to get her to go to sit by herself and calm down rather quickly. I am not sure, but I think this behavior is going to take something drastic to get it to stop. Like taking away a present or something the next time she does it. Selfishness is not something I take very well, it drives me NUTS! And she is the only child that acts that way, the others are happy with what they get. Not her, she always wants MORE.
I guess if she does it again I will be taking her to donate a toy or two to Toy's for Tots, out of her own Christmas presents. She needs to learn selflessness. I am just not sure how to teach it, I will figure it out though, I know it.
Tomorrow! He will be here tomorrow night! :)
Friday, September 19
No One Told Me....
First I would like to apologize for my foul language in my last two posts. I was typing so fast and furious I didn't even attempt to *** out some of the letters. While I do have a potty mouth, I know when and where it is appropriate to use.
Back to normal now....
No one told me just how hard this really was going to be. I cried last night on the phone with Kale, telling him just how hard it was and how upset I am that it's only 1/4 of the way over. I have been a mess this week. It's pretty bad when I am crying in my van when Gavin Rossdale's Love Remains the Same or Secondhand Serenade's Fall for You comes on the radio. -If you haven't heard either you should check them out, they are really good songs.-
I think my kids are handling this better than I am. I was fine the first couple of months, then school started and I have been home all day bored, just thinking of him. I am not having trouble dealing with the kids or dealing with the house. It's just the loneliness of it. I have not been apart from Kale for more than a month since I was 18, that's 10 years of being together. In February we will have been married for 10 years, he says he's finally going to buy me a big rock. :P But I have to wait until he comes back in June, he wants to be there with me when I pick it out.
I think it's the silence at night that bothers me most. He's been really good about calling me twice a day and emailing me everyday. I am happy when he calls, but I become even more sad when we have to hang up. It was easier for me in the beginning when I was so busy, but it was harder for him. At that time we didn't know that he can use state to state calling cards, which are WAY cheaper than the international ones he was using. I was also always busy and missed his calls often. He will have internet in his house again mid-Oct. and then it will be a little cheaper to talk. And I can talk to him all night long. Since he left my typing has improved, I was pretty good before, but now I am so much better.
In other news I have now lost nearly 15 pounds! I am excited. I am going to start walking to the school and back to pick up the girls on nice days, it's probably a 2-4 mile walk both ways. That will help. The "happy pills" have been helping to keep me away from sweets. I eat only what I need and I have even cut back to two 8oz pepsi's a day. I already drink a lot of water, so that's not a problem. I also started taking a multi vitamin to help with energy.
Well, my weekend is pretty busy. Lilly and Aidan both have parties to attend and on Sunday we are all going to the Renaissance Festival. It's been a beautiful week and it's supposed to continue for the weekend.
Hope everyone has a good weekend!
Back to normal now....
No one told me just how hard this really was going to be. I cried last night on the phone with Kale, telling him just how hard it was and how upset I am that it's only 1/4 of the way over. I have been a mess this week. It's pretty bad when I am crying in my van when Gavin Rossdale's Love Remains the Same or Secondhand Serenade's Fall for You comes on the radio. -If you haven't heard either you should check them out, they are really good songs.-
I think my kids are handling this better than I am. I was fine the first couple of months, then school started and I have been home all day bored, just thinking of him. I am not having trouble dealing with the kids or dealing with the house. It's just the loneliness of it. I have not been apart from Kale for more than a month since I was 18, that's 10 years of being together. In February we will have been married for 10 years, he says he's finally going to buy me a big rock. :P But I have to wait until he comes back in June, he wants to be there with me when I pick it out.
I think it's the silence at night that bothers me most. He's been really good about calling me twice a day and emailing me everyday. I am happy when he calls, but I become even more sad when we have to hang up. It was easier for me in the beginning when I was so busy, but it was harder for him. At that time we didn't know that he can use state to state calling cards, which are WAY cheaper than the international ones he was using. I was also always busy and missed his calls often. He will have internet in his house again mid-Oct. and then it will be a little cheaper to talk. And I can talk to him all night long. Since he left my typing has improved, I was pretty good before, but now I am so much better.
In other news I have now lost nearly 15 pounds! I am excited. I am going to start walking to the school and back to pick up the girls on nice days, it's probably a 2-4 mile walk both ways. That will help. The "happy pills" have been helping to keep me away from sweets. I eat only what I need and I have even cut back to two 8oz pepsi's a day. I already drink a lot of water, so that's not a problem. I also started taking a multi vitamin to help with energy.
Well, my weekend is pretty busy. Lilly and Aidan both have parties to attend and on Sunday we are all going to the Renaissance Festival. It's been a beautiful week and it's supposed to continue for the weekend.
Hope everyone has a good weekend!
Thursday, September 18
The Rest of the Awful Story...
I know I said I would post this tomorrow, but some people are like me and don't like to wait.
If you haven't read the first half of the story, go down and read it first or you will be confused.
So Monday I am checking Kale's email, this time he asked me to do it. He doesn't have internet at his house and he can't check his personal email on the work computer. So I check it and there is this email about "So and so commented on your picture on Redlightcenter.com". So I am naturally curious so I go to the site, type in Kale's gmail address in the forgotten password space, retrieve it and sign in. I am immediately HORRIFIED BEYOND BELIEF! The first thing I see is a picture of Kale and I together. This picture:
His mom took it when they came to visit him the summer we began dating. It's Kale's favorite picture of the two of us.
The website I find is kind of like a myspace or facebook page, but it's designed for people seeking sexual "release" I guess you would call it. Basically you can be single or a couple seeking other singles or couples to do things with. Or it can just be an online, look at each others nasty pictures and videos. The entire page had been set up as if Kale had done it himself. I know now he didn't, but at the time....not so much.
Again I freak out, worse than the day before, because not only did it sound as if Kale had written the page himself (I will tell you why later) but there were also pictures. Pictures of male genitalia. One of the pictures was actually my husbands, but he took it to send to me (don't know why) and he never did. The other two pictures of genitalia I could tell weren't his which is good, because one of them was completely nasty. I will not describe it for you, but it was dirty, filthy, and it haunts my dreams. That right there was Kale's only saving grace.
He called me about 25 agonizing minutes after I found this page. I had gone from screeching crying, to hyperventilating, to collapsing on the floor in grief. I managed to keep it together when Sophia came downstairs to find out what was wrong and I was lucky Delilah was sleeping. Anyhow, he calls and I am screaming things at him like you would not believe. He is swearing up and down that it wasn't him. All the same things as the time before. He swears on the lives of our children and I feel a little, not much, but a little better. He tells me he and the 1SG are going to go talk to the guy again and they will find out what is going on for me. I tell him I can't believe him, I need to hear it from the 1SG (his boss) when they get back. Otherwise I knew I would always have doubts.
After about another hour of agonizing wait, during which I can't eat and have diarrhea (TMI I know, but at this point I have shared everything else). He calls and puts the 1SG on. He lets me know the guy confessed and is writing a swore statement about all the things he did and why he did them. The guy said he used Kale's pictures because he didn't want his wife to be able to find out he did this. That everyone on the site requires pictures and so he needed some face shots that weren't his own. I felt so much better after talking to 1SG.
Kale gets on the phone and he lets me know he is pressing charges for identity theft. The guy had taken information about us from Kale's Facebook page, what Kale likes, what I like off my page, he found the picture of Kale's penis and used it. He used Kale's webcam to take pictures of his own penis. He found a dirty letter Kale had written for me and used that on there. Just a complete violation of our privacy.
Like K said, Kale was stupid for leaving his passwords unprotected and letting this guy have so much freedom using his computer. But like I told her, I prefer stupid to cheater, I already knew he was stupid. I can live with stupid. Trust me, stuff like this ONLY happens to Kale. He has the worst luck with things obscure and unusual.
Unfortunately Kale can't get him for identity theft because the guy didn't accrue any debt. BUT the commander is freaking pissed (he's the big boss) and is throwing the book at him. Like I said, they are going for demotion and loss of mid-month pay for 6mths.
It still took me a few days to really get over this. I was angry Kale had left such personal stuff out there for anyone to find. I reminded him that if I had actually sent him the nude photos he requested (I never would have) then those would have been plastered all over that smutty site. That really got to him, he was never as upset as when I told him that. He is very protective of me and it would have killed him to have that all over the internet. It really irritated me that his "business" was on there too and that people commented on it and everything. But in the grand scheme of everything having that to deal with is better than having to deal with a husband who is surfing swinger sites.
He is extremely lucky that he was so far away from me when this happened. If he had been here I would have hunted him down and slapped the shit out of him before he even knew what I was angry about. I have a horrible temper, it's hard to get me angry, but look out when I am.
So, everything is back to "normal" at least as normal as it's going to get. I never worried about him being so far away until all of this happened. Even though my heart knows he wouldn't ever do anything my brain is suspicious. I told him he is going to have to reassure me, every day, multiple times a day until I get over this completely.
The guy has to meet with the Commander and 1SG tonight. His ass is fried. It actually kind of worries me that maybe he is one of those freaks who wants to be you, you know take over your life. I hope it really only was that he didn't want his wife to know he was surfing such sites, but damn that's a long way to go to "get off".
So there is my long, horrifying, detailed (probably more details than most of you wanted), ordeal that has preoccupied my last 7 days. And that is why I was MIA.
If you haven't read the first half of the story, go down and read it first or you will be confused.
So Monday I am checking Kale's email, this time he asked me to do it. He doesn't have internet at his house and he can't check his personal email on the work computer. So I check it and there is this email about "So and so commented on your picture on Redlightcenter.com". So I am naturally curious so I go to the site, type in Kale's gmail address in the forgotten password space, retrieve it and sign in. I am immediately HORRIFIED BEYOND BELIEF! The first thing I see is a picture of Kale and I together. This picture:
His mom took it when they came to visit him the summer we began dating. It's Kale's favorite picture of the two of us.
The website I find is kind of like a myspace or facebook page, but it's designed for people seeking sexual "release" I guess you would call it. Basically you can be single or a couple seeking other singles or couples to do things with. Or it can just be an online, look at each others nasty pictures and videos. The entire page had been set up as if Kale had done it himself. I know now he didn't, but at the time....not so much.
Again I freak out, worse than the day before, because not only did it sound as if Kale had written the page himself (I will tell you why later) but there were also pictures. Pictures of male genitalia. One of the pictures was actually my husbands, but he took it to send to me (don't know why) and he never did. The other two pictures of genitalia I could tell weren't his which is good, because one of them was completely nasty. I will not describe it for you, but it was dirty, filthy, and it haunts my dreams. That right there was Kale's only saving grace.
He called me about 25 agonizing minutes after I found this page. I had gone from screeching crying, to hyperventilating, to collapsing on the floor in grief. I managed to keep it together when Sophia came downstairs to find out what was wrong and I was lucky Delilah was sleeping. Anyhow, he calls and I am screaming things at him like you would not believe. He is swearing up and down that it wasn't him. All the same things as the time before. He swears on the lives of our children and I feel a little, not much, but a little better. He tells me he and the 1SG are going to go talk to the guy again and they will find out what is going on for me. I tell him I can't believe him, I need to hear it from the 1SG (his boss) when they get back. Otherwise I knew I would always have doubts.
After about another hour of agonizing wait, during which I can't eat and have diarrhea (TMI I know, but at this point I have shared everything else). He calls and puts the 1SG on. He lets me know the guy confessed and is writing a swore statement about all the things he did and why he did them. The guy said he used Kale's pictures because he didn't want his wife to be able to find out he did this. That everyone on the site requires pictures and so he needed some face shots that weren't his own. I felt so much better after talking to 1SG.
Kale gets on the phone and he lets me know he is pressing charges for identity theft. The guy had taken information about us from Kale's Facebook page, what Kale likes, what I like off my page, he found the picture of Kale's penis and used it. He used Kale's webcam to take pictures of his own penis. He found a dirty letter Kale had written for me and used that on there. Just a complete violation of our privacy.
Like K said, Kale was stupid for leaving his passwords unprotected and letting this guy have so much freedom using his computer. But like I told her, I prefer stupid to cheater, I already knew he was stupid. I can live with stupid. Trust me, stuff like this ONLY happens to Kale. He has the worst luck with things obscure and unusual.
Unfortunately Kale can't get him for identity theft because the guy didn't accrue any debt. BUT the commander is freaking pissed (he's the big boss) and is throwing the book at him. Like I said, they are going for demotion and loss of mid-month pay for 6mths.
It still took me a few days to really get over this. I was angry Kale had left such personal stuff out there for anyone to find. I reminded him that if I had actually sent him the nude photos he requested (I never would have) then those would have been plastered all over that smutty site. That really got to him, he was never as upset as when I told him that. He is very protective of me and it would have killed him to have that all over the internet. It really irritated me that his "business" was on there too and that people commented on it and everything. But in the grand scheme of everything having that to deal with is better than having to deal with a husband who is surfing swinger sites.
He is extremely lucky that he was so far away from me when this happened. If he had been here I would have hunted him down and slapped the shit out of him before he even knew what I was angry about. I have a horrible temper, it's hard to get me angry, but look out when I am.
So, everything is back to "normal" at least as normal as it's going to get. I never worried about him being so far away until all of this happened. Even though my heart knows he wouldn't ever do anything my brain is suspicious. I told him he is going to have to reassure me, every day, multiple times a day until I get over this completely.
The guy has to meet with the Commander and 1SG tonight. His ass is fried. It actually kind of worries me that maybe he is one of those freaks who wants to be you, you know take over your life. I hope it really only was that he didn't want his wife to know he was surfing such sites, but damn that's a long way to go to "get off".
So there is my long, horrifying, detailed (probably more details than most of you wanted), ordeal that has preoccupied my last 7 days. And that is why I was MIA.
A Very Bad Week...
I am sorry I went MIA, but I have been dealing with a lot of BS this week. I can finally tell this story because it's 100% OVER. The person who caused this mess is in deep trouble. Article 15 if you know military terms, if not it means he is being demoted and losing half his pay for 6mths.
Why does he deserve such? Because he just about ruined my marriage, could have done worse if I am not the person I am, or if Kale had not been able to get to the bottom of things super quickly.
It started last Friday, I had asked Kale for all of his passwords to all of his emails and such so if I felt like checking them I could. He knows all of mine so we have nothing to hide, and he gave them to me willingly. Plus something happened to someone I know recently crushing my reality about my "perfect family life" being able to go on as "perfect" forever. Let's just say it gave me pause.
Well, I checked his Yahoo, nothing interesting there just normal family stuff. Then I check his Gmail, his sister and his friend Dave are the only ones who usually email him there. I start looking through and I come upon two emails that had been sent out to someone named J.D. and right away I became sick. I opened them and they were from "Kale" to this JD person thanking her for the naked pictures and asking her if she would like anything in return. You can imagine my response.
I began hyperventilating and scrambling to call Kale. A few minutes later he gets online at the library (he had told me he would after work so we could talk). I immediately begin attacking him with questions and he immediately begins denying all allegations. He begs me to believe him, but there in front of me I have the "proof". I show him the emails, he starts to freak out, and says he is going home and calling me right then. I wait for 15 agonizing minutes and he finally calls.
Before I go on with that conversation I will tell you what he did on his way to his house. On his way to his house he used his cell to call the two guys he was allowing to use his computer when he lived in the apartment (he had recently moved into a house). He left them a message saying they had better explain what the bleep they were doing on his email. You see, Kale is a very trusting man he had all of his email passwords saved in his computer and was allowing these two guys full access, unsupervised, to use his laptop. Stupid I know.
He calls me and I am bawling, he begins to break down and cry and swears up and down it wasn't him. He wouldn't do this to me, he loves me, he loves our kids, he just doesn't need anyone else, and for me to please believe him. It's hard for me. He explains how he let these two guys use his computer and just then his cell rings. I can here him yelling at the first guy, interrogating him, he knows nothing. The second guy gets on and I hear a lot of Kale screaming at the guy about how stupid it was he used Kale's email and how I had found it and was so upset. He screams at the guy that he will talk to him later.
He gets back on the phone and explains what happened to me. Apparently this guy, instead of making a fake email, used Kale's to send and receive pictures of some girl he was chatting with online. He said that he didn't want his wife to find out. He thought he had deleted everything. We now know there is more to it than just this, but I will get to it. So Kale is pissed and I am relieved. We talk for quite awhile and by the end of our conversation I am back to normal, feeling better, he is still pissed and is threatening to kick the guy's ass. I try and calm him down, tell him it's not worth jeopardizing his career over it.
He calls me later that night to tell me how PT went. He had his 1SG go with him to keep him in check. He was mad that the guy thought it was no big deal. Kale lunged at him and 1SG had to grab him and hold him back. The guy didn't even show the slightest bit of remorse, until Kale told him how I was hyperventilating and crying, then he looked at the ground the rest of the talk. After Kale left 1SG stayed behind to talk to the guy, even threatened to tell his wife.
So then my weekend went on peacefully. Monday came and my world was shattered once again, at the hands of this guy, and this time it was worse.
I will finish tomorrow.... Just so you know everything is alright with me and my marriage. And that I have 100% proof that my husband did not do the things I thought he did. If I didn't have the proof I would still be questioning him, as maybe some of you might.
Why does he deserve such? Because he just about ruined my marriage, could have done worse if I am not the person I am, or if Kale had not been able to get to the bottom of things super quickly.
It started last Friday, I had asked Kale for all of his passwords to all of his emails and such so if I felt like checking them I could. He knows all of mine so we have nothing to hide, and he gave them to me willingly. Plus something happened to someone I know recently crushing my reality about my "perfect family life" being able to go on as "perfect" forever. Let's just say it gave me pause.
Well, I checked his Yahoo, nothing interesting there just normal family stuff. Then I check his Gmail, his sister and his friend Dave are the only ones who usually email him there. I start looking through and I come upon two emails that had been sent out to someone named J.D. and right away I became sick. I opened them and they were from "Kale" to this JD person thanking her for the naked pictures and asking her if she would like anything in return. You can imagine my response.
I began hyperventilating and scrambling to call Kale. A few minutes later he gets online at the library (he had told me he would after work so we could talk). I immediately begin attacking him with questions and he immediately begins denying all allegations. He begs me to believe him, but there in front of me I have the "proof". I show him the emails, he starts to freak out, and says he is going home and calling me right then. I wait for 15 agonizing minutes and he finally calls.
Before I go on with that conversation I will tell you what he did on his way to his house. On his way to his house he used his cell to call the two guys he was allowing to use his computer when he lived in the apartment (he had recently moved into a house). He left them a message saying they had better explain what the bleep they were doing on his email. You see, Kale is a very trusting man he had all of his email passwords saved in his computer and was allowing these two guys full access, unsupervised, to use his laptop. Stupid I know.
He calls me and I am bawling, he begins to break down and cry and swears up and down it wasn't him. He wouldn't do this to me, he loves me, he loves our kids, he just doesn't need anyone else, and for me to please believe him. It's hard for me. He explains how he let these two guys use his computer and just then his cell rings. I can here him yelling at the first guy, interrogating him, he knows nothing. The second guy gets on and I hear a lot of Kale screaming at the guy about how stupid it was he used Kale's email and how I had found it and was so upset. He screams at the guy that he will talk to him later.
He gets back on the phone and explains what happened to me. Apparently this guy, instead of making a fake email, used Kale's to send and receive pictures of some girl he was chatting with online. He said that he didn't want his wife to find out. He thought he had deleted everything. We now know there is more to it than just this, but I will get to it. So Kale is pissed and I am relieved. We talk for quite awhile and by the end of our conversation I am back to normal, feeling better, he is still pissed and is threatening to kick the guy's ass. I try and calm him down, tell him it's not worth jeopardizing his career over it.
He calls me later that night to tell me how PT went. He had his 1SG go with him to keep him in check. He was mad that the guy thought it was no big deal. Kale lunged at him and 1SG had to grab him and hold him back. The guy didn't even show the slightest bit of remorse, until Kale told him how I was hyperventilating and crying, then he looked at the ground the rest of the talk. After Kale left 1SG stayed behind to talk to the guy, even threatened to tell his wife.
So then my weekend went on peacefully. Monday came and my world was shattered once again, at the hands of this guy, and this time it was worse.
I will finish tomorrow.... Just so you know everything is alright with me and my marriage. And that I have 100% proof that my husband did not do the things I thought he did. If I didn't have the proof I would still be questioning him, as maybe some of you might.
Friday, September 12
I miss....
I miss having a clean house every day. (But not enough to get my lazy butt off the couch apparently)
I miss not having to leave my house if I didn't want to. (But not enough to want to home school)
I miss having my husband's help. (3 more months until he's home for a visit)
I miss my husband. (That should have been a given, but I didn't realize just how much I would miss HIM)
I miss the time when all I needed to buy my children was clothing, food, and toys. (But I am glad they are in school)
I miss SLEEP! (But not enough to give Delilah back)
I miss when my biggest worry for my kids was if they feel and hurt themselves. (Instead of worrying about who their friends are, if they are having a good time at school, or worse)
I miss a time when our house was half as full of junk. (But not half the children that caused the junk coming into the house)
I miss not having to get up at 7am every single morning. (But not enough to home school)
I am full of contradictions today (most days). I want this but without having to do that. Some days I want life to be easy, but then it might be boring. I am just not sure what's up with me this last few days. I am hoping it's just the gloomy weather. It's been cloudy, gray, and rainy for three days now and will remain this way all weekend. It sucks. I wanted to start walking in the morning today, but it was raining steadily and I couldn't. I have also been very lonely since Judy left. I know she drives me crazy, but not having another adult in the house makes me sad. I am going to try and pull out of this funk by Monday. Of course having not much money hasn't helped my mood any, I am not used to being so restrained.
Aidan also was having a bit of trouble in school this week, trouble keeping her hands to herself. When the teacher told me I felt as if I had been kicked in the stomach. I talked to her and my mom talked to her and she seems to be keeping it together. I know she gets teased a little for being tiny, it was the same way for me in school. BUT it's not an excuse or reason to ever put her hands on someone else. So I explained that to her and told her other kids won't want to be friends with her if she hurts them, I think that's the one that got through to her. She loves having friends. But it still sucks that I have to have a conversation with her about this. I am not sure where she gets it from, we rarely spank (once in a blue moon) and it's never a punishment for hitting, normally it's used for dangerous situations (doesn't happen that often). Plus Lilly and Sophia don't hit, never have. I firmly believe the reason Aidan hits is because she was in daycare from 18mths to 24mths, when they learn that behavior. Still not an excuse, but I think that's why she hits and Lilly and Sophia don't. Lilly was only in daycare from 4-4 1/2 and Sophia has never gone. Aidan was always getting bit and pushed by the other toddlers, that's one of the big reasons I quit college the second time. That and they were getting so sick all the time. I wish I had never left them, it's one of my mommy guilts I have been hanging onto all these years.
Maybe it's because Kale is gone, I don't know but I don't like it. My mom is researching different consequences that would be appropriate and is trying to find books for her to read about bullying. We will see if she continues or if we have to try something new with her. I don't want her to be disliked and I don't want other parents looking at her or I with disgust. Wish me luck, I may need it.
I miss not having to leave my house if I didn't want to. (But not enough to want to home school)
I miss having my husband's help. (3 more months until he's home for a visit)
I miss my husband. (That should have been a given, but I didn't realize just how much I would miss HIM)
I miss the time when all I needed to buy my children was clothing, food, and toys. (But I am glad they are in school)
I miss SLEEP! (But not enough to give Delilah back)
I miss when my biggest worry for my kids was if they feel and hurt themselves. (Instead of worrying about who their friends are, if they are having a good time at school, or worse)
I miss a time when our house was half as full of junk. (But not half the children that caused the junk coming into the house)
I miss not having to get up at 7am every single morning. (But not enough to home school)
I am full of contradictions today (most days). I want this but without having to do that. Some days I want life to be easy, but then it might be boring. I am just not sure what's up with me this last few days. I am hoping it's just the gloomy weather. It's been cloudy, gray, and rainy for three days now and will remain this way all weekend. It sucks. I wanted to start walking in the morning today, but it was raining steadily and I couldn't. I have also been very lonely since Judy left. I know she drives me crazy, but not having another adult in the house makes me sad. I am going to try and pull out of this funk by Monday. Of course having not much money hasn't helped my mood any, I am not used to being so restrained.
Aidan also was having a bit of trouble in school this week, trouble keeping her hands to herself. When the teacher told me I felt as if I had been kicked in the stomach. I talked to her and my mom talked to her and she seems to be keeping it together. I know she gets teased a little for being tiny, it was the same way for me in school. BUT it's not an excuse or reason to ever put her hands on someone else. So I explained that to her and told her other kids won't want to be friends with her if she hurts them, I think that's the one that got through to her. She loves having friends. But it still sucks that I have to have a conversation with her about this. I am not sure where she gets it from, we rarely spank (once in a blue moon) and it's never a punishment for hitting, normally it's used for dangerous situations (doesn't happen that often). Plus Lilly and Sophia don't hit, never have. I firmly believe the reason Aidan hits is because she was in daycare from 18mths to 24mths, when they learn that behavior. Still not an excuse, but I think that's why she hits and Lilly and Sophia don't. Lilly was only in daycare from 4-4 1/2 and Sophia has never gone. Aidan was always getting bit and pushed by the other toddlers, that's one of the big reasons I quit college the second time. That and they were getting so sick all the time. I wish I had never left them, it's one of my mommy guilts I have been hanging onto all these years.
Maybe it's because Kale is gone, I don't know but I don't like it. My mom is researching different consequences that would be appropriate and is trying to find books for her to read about bullying. We will see if she continues or if we have to try something new with her. I don't want her to be disliked and I don't want other parents looking at her or I with disgust. Wish me luck, I may need it.
Tuesday, August 26
Hmmmm.....
I read an article tonight on Foxnews titled "Why we are all insane". One part in particular explained my insanity perfectly:
Perhaps to check selfish urges, in favor of more probable means to biological success, social lubricants such as empathy, guilt and mild anxiety arose.
For example, the first of our ancestors to empathize and read facial expressions had a striking advantage. They could confirm their own social status and convince others to share food and shelter. But too much emotional acuity — when individuals over analyze every grimace — can cause a motivational nervousness about one's social value to morph into a relentless handicapping anxiety.
It describes me perfectly. I am constantly worried that if I say or do the wrong thing I will be dropped like a hot potato. And I am not talking about major offenses, I am talking about things like if I made a joke and the person barely laughed. I will obsess over every detail of the conversation to see what I might have done wrong and if that person will hate me forever. It will eat at me, especially if I don't get to speak to the person the following day. This is why I have been able to develop a chameleon defense, I can pretty much blend with any crowd. Of course now that I am an adult I don't need this defense often, I don't have to put myself in these positions often.
I also have way too much empathy. When something bad happens to someone in my life I take it on myself. Even if I am not directly involved. When someone is hurting that I love, I hurt as well. As if I were going through it myself. I try to keep it to myself, I am not sure if people find it annoying. I just can't help how I feel.
Overall it's a pretty interesting article.
Perhaps to check selfish urges, in favor of more probable means to biological success, social lubricants such as empathy, guilt and mild anxiety arose.
For example, the first of our ancestors to empathize and read facial expressions had a striking advantage. They could confirm their own social status and convince others to share food and shelter. But too much emotional acuity — when individuals over analyze every grimace — can cause a motivational nervousness about one's social value to morph into a relentless handicapping anxiety.
It describes me perfectly. I am constantly worried that if I say or do the wrong thing I will be dropped like a hot potato. And I am not talking about major offenses, I am talking about things like if I made a joke and the person barely laughed. I will obsess over every detail of the conversation to see what I might have done wrong and if that person will hate me forever. It will eat at me, especially if I don't get to speak to the person the following day. This is why I have been able to develop a chameleon defense, I can pretty much blend with any crowd. Of course now that I am an adult I don't need this defense often, I don't have to put myself in these positions often.
I also have way too much empathy. When something bad happens to someone in my life I take it on myself. Even if I am not directly involved. When someone is hurting that I love, I hurt as well. As if I were going through it myself. I try to keep it to myself, I am not sure if people find it annoying. I just can't help how I feel.
Overall it's a pretty interesting article.
Tuesday, August 19
Funny Story Aidan Told Her Teacher
So yesterday I get a phone call from the school nurse.
N: Mrs. W?
M: Yes...
N: I am calling about your daughter Aidan. She told Mrs. Z that she has a heart condition and when her heart hurts she needs to put ice on her chest.
M: NO! (I was trying hard to hold back the laughter and letting off a bog sigh of relief. I thought when she said heart condition that something bad had happened.)
N: Oh.
M: She is telling you stories.
N: We thought so, but wanted to check. I looked through her record and there was nothing about a heart condition in there. Okay, sorry to bother you.
After I hung up with her I immediately started calling people, K, Judy, my dad, Rosy, Jason, and my mom (she was in a meeting the first time I called, so she was last to hear.) If it weren't so expensive to call Kale I would have.
That child has an active imagination and a face that could make you believe what you know to be false, is true. She is my child. The first thing I thought when I hung up was "I wonder what she was asked to do that she didn't want to do."
N: Mrs. W?
M: Yes...
N: I am calling about your daughter Aidan. She told Mrs. Z that she has a heart condition and when her heart hurts she needs to put ice on her chest.
M: NO! (I was trying hard to hold back the laughter and letting off a bog sigh of relief. I thought when she said heart condition that something bad had happened.)
N: Oh.
M: She is telling you stories.
N: We thought so, but wanted to check. I looked through her record and there was nothing about a heart condition in there. Okay, sorry to bother you.
After I hung up with her I immediately started calling people, K, Judy, my dad, Rosy, Jason, and my mom (she was in a meeting the first time I called, so she was last to hear.) If it weren't so expensive to call Kale I would have.
That child has an active imagination and a face that could make you believe what you know to be false, is true. She is my child. The first thing I thought when I hung up was "I wonder what she was asked to do that she didn't want to do."
Saturday, August 9
They're here!
Stella and Meme arrived yesterday. Delilah and I were there to greet them when they came home from the airport. Stella is very tall and skinny, Meme is equally skinny but not very tall. My dad spotted right away that Stella had a hickey on her neck. She said it was from her boyfriend on her last night in Germany. My dad joked he will have to keep and eye on her, I think he is not joking as much as he lets on. She was very embarrassed and said her mother noticed it when she came home that night and was worried what my parents would think. I know exactly what my dad thinks about hickeys, he thinks they are trashy. He told me so the very first (and LAST) time I had one. He didn't even notice it, my mom did and my punishment was to call and tell him about it. He gave me a long lecture about how trashy he thinks it is and how I am better than that, must have worked I haven't ever had another one. I didn't even know I had one that night, it was my very first time making out with a guy. It was his first time too, so we didn't know it would happen. They were huge too, I mean my neck and jawline were pretty much covered. It was quite embarrassing, especially when I had waltzed in my house thinking nothing was there. Then my mom takes me aside and tells me to go look in the mirror. After that I hid it from my dad until he left for work. I am thankful my mother was always conscious not to embarrass me in front of my friends. She waited until my friends were gone before making me call him.
Anywho, Patience did take the girls swimming and my uncle Guy even came along. He doesn't get out much, he has many problems with his back, he had a house fall on him when he was 17. Long story, but he has always been kind of a hermit. He's a great guy, funny, loving, and nice but he just doesn't like to leave his house. He came along because their grandson was going too and she can't handle all four by herself. After 2 and half hours I went back to pick them up. They fussed at my uncle when he told them it was time to go, I could hear them fussing at him from outside the gate. I knew how well that would go over, he is very big on respect. I told them they had to apologize and made them feel guilty for being rude. And then he talked to them about it also. It was Lilly and Aidan, Sophia is too little to scold for to much of that, plus she came out without a fight.
I received the dress I ordered for Sophia's birthday. It's too big so I sent it to K today so she can fix it, along with some fabric I bought since she is going to make the girls halter dresses/shirts. They are going to be super cute! I am glad she can sew, I can't. I took a sewing class and home ec and still can't sew a straight line. I could probably do it, but it wouldn't be perfect and therefore I wouldn't like it. K does such a great job, I am lucky to have her as my friend. In exchange or to say thank you, I am making Abby a necklace and bracelet set with her name on them. I ordered all the stuff these past few days. I have done a couple of bracelets for her when she was a newborn and I made her a necklace with her name on it before too. But K says she needs a new one so I decided to just go ahead and do some for all the girls. I am doing Sophia and Delilah's in their birthday dress colors. I am not sure about Lilly and Aidan yet. K is thinking brown and either pink or aqua for Abby. I ordered a bunch of different colored cat's eye beads, so I have a lot to choose from. I will post pictures when I get them all done.
Today is Alan's 1st birthday party. I have his gifts but haven't wrapped them yet. I don't even think I have any boyish wrapping paper. But it's late and I am going to bed, let's hope I can sleep in tomorrow.
Have a great weekend!
Anywho, Patience did take the girls swimming and my uncle Guy even came along. He doesn't get out much, he has many problems with his back, he had a house fall on him when he was 17. Long story, but he has always been kind of a hermit. He's a great guy, funny, loving, and nice but he just doesn't like to leave his house. He came along because their grandson was going too and she can't handle all four by herself. After 2 and half hours I went back to pick them up. They fussed at my uncle when he told them it was time to go, I could hear them fussing at him from outside the gate. I knew how well that would go over, he is very big on respect. I told them they had to apologize and made them feel guilty for being rude. And then he talked to them about it also. It was Lilly and Aidan, Sophia is too little to scold for to much of that, plus she came out without a fight.
I received the dress I ordered for Sophia's birthday. It's too big so I sent it to K today so she can fix it, along with some fabric I bought since she is going to make the girls halter dresses/shirts. They are going to be super cute! I am glad she can sew, I can't. I took a sewing class and home ec and still can't sew a straight line. I could probably do it, but it wouldn't be perfect and therefore I wouldn't like it. K does such a great job, I am lucky to have her as my friend. In exchange or to say thank you, I am making Abby a necklace and bracelet set with her name on them. I ordered all the stuff these past few days. I have done a couple of bracelets for her when she was a newborn and I made her a necklace with her name on it before too. But K says she needs a new one so I decided to just go ahead and do some for all the girls. I am doing Sophia and Delilah's in their birthday dress colors. I am not sure about Lilly and Aidan yet. K is thinking brown and either pink or aqua for Abby. I ordered a bunch of different colored cat's eye beads, so I have a lot to choose from. I will post pictures when I get them all done.
Today is Alan's 1st birthday party. I have his gifts but haven't wrapped them yet. I don't even think I have any boyish wrapping paper. But it's late and I am going to bed, let's hope I can sleep in tomorrow.
Have a great weekend!
Friday, August 8
Blog Bum
I kind of forgot to post yesterday, doesn't happen too often during the week. I wasn't busy or doing anything special or spectacular, I was just being a blog bum. At least that what K called me when I told her I hadn't posted yet and wasn't motivated to do so.
I was kind of blah yesterday. In the morning the kids were fighting (nothing new), in the afternoon they were forced to either nap or play quietly in separate rooms. Everyone but Aidan was okay with this and after she threw a fit she no longer had a choice, nap it was. I had a peaceful hour and a half after that, it was nice. I had no TV on I just sat, browsing Etsy. When Delilah woke up I woke everyone else up, don't want them sleeping past 3pm, then they won't want to go to bed. I had them all shower, since we hadn't been out of our jammies yet, bad mommy, I know :P Shortly after that Jason, Rosy, and Alan showed up. Jason was watching the kids while we went to the store to get stuff for Alan's party tomorrow.
After they left I fed my kids since it was 6:30pm and they usually eat at 5pm. They played nicely after that so I allowed Aidan and Sophia to stay up until 8pm (7pm is usually their bedtime). Delilah took a nap from 7-8:15pm when I woke her up. She seems to sleep in later if I give her an evening nap and let her stay up until 9:30pm. Yesterday she slept until 7:45am and today she slept until 8am :) I spent the rest of the evening talking to Kale or K on the phone and Jason or Rosy online, while watching TV and browsing Etsy.
Today I am taking Lilly and Aidan to meet their teachers and drop their school crap off. Then Patience is hoping to come take them swimming, it hasn't worked out any other day i.e. rain, she got stuck at work, and she had to work at her second job. So hopefully nothing will happen today and they will be able to go. We purposely didn't tell the children in case something happened and she couldn't do it. They haven't known all along her plans, it will be a happy surprise if/when it happens.
Rosy's parents and brother get in today, they came for his first birthday. And the new exchange students come in today. Stella from Germany and Meme from Thailand, hopefully they will at least be HALF as fun as Lele and Nais. It should be interesting, their first weekend with us will be a busy one. Alan's first birthday party is tomorrow. And sometime this weekend I have to exchange Aidan's dress for a smaller size. Other than that I will be watching the hours tick away excitedly until Monday 8am, when they GO BACK TO SCHOOL!
I was kind of blah yesterday. In the morning the kids were fighting (nothing new), in the afternoon they were forced to either nap or play quietly in separate rooms. Everyone but Aidan was okay with this and after she threw a fit she no longer had a choice, nap it was. I had a peaceful hour and a half after that, it was nice. I had no TV on I just sat, browsing Etsy. When Delilah woke up I woke everyone else up, don't want them sleeping past 3pm, then they won't want to go to bed. I had them all shower, since we hadn't been out of our jammies yet, bad mommy, I know :P Shortly after that Jason, Rosy, and Alan showed up. Jason was watching the kids while we went to the store to get stuff for Alan's party tomorrow.
After they left I fed my kids since it was 6:30pm and they usually eat at 5pm. They played nicely after that so I allowed Aidan and Sophia to stay up until 8pm (7pm is usually their bedtime). Delilah took a nap from 7-8:15pm when I woke her up. She seems to sleep in later if I give her an evening nap and let her stay up until 9:30pm. Yesterday she slept until 7:45am and today she slept until 8am :) I spent the rest of the evening talking to Kale or K on the phone and Jason or Rosy online, while watching TV and browsing Etsy.
Today I am taking Lilly and Aidan to meet their teachers and drop their school crap off. Then Patience is hoping to come take them swimming, it hasn't worked out any other day i.e. rain, she got stuck at work, and she had to work at her second job. So hopefully nothing will happen today and they will be able to go. We purposely didn't tell the children in case something happened and she couldn't do it. They haven't known all along her plans, it will be a happy surprise if/when it happens.
Rosy's parents and brother get in today, they came for his first birthday. And the new exchange students come in today. Stella from Germany and Meme from Thailand, hopefully they will at least be HALF as fun as Lele and Nais. It should be interesting, their first weekend with us will be a busy one. Alan's first birthday party is tomorrow. And sometime this weekend I have to exchange Aidan's dress for a smaller size. Other than that I will be watching the hours tick away excitedly until Monday 8am, when they GO BACK TO SCHOOL!
Sunday, August 3
This Weekend....
So...... I spent way too much money this weekend. But it mostly went to Lilly's birthday celebration, so I can hardly complain about it. I will start with Friday though and move along to know, lots happened this weekend. Friday I spent my morning shopping, I know SHOCKING! I had coupons and gift checks that needed to be used and had to find a pair of tennis shoes for Aidan before school starts. Did I mention it starts next week? :P
I headed out first to get my new contacts. I have this weird thing with my eyes where protein builds up on my lenses and I miss read the directions on my bottle of cleaning fluid. My eyes feel soooo much better now. While we were waiting in the optometrist's office an older lady was gushing over the girls. It's always nice to hear how cute they are, what beautiful names they have, and well behaved they are, even if they are bouncing around like kangaroos on crack.
After I paused long enough to put my new contacts in, we headed off to The Legends. It's an open air strip outlet mall. I went to Carter's first where I got Delilah's fall wardrobe (most of it) at a really decent price. If I paid sticker price I would have spent around $118, if I paid the sale price I would have paid $68, I paid $48. For that price I got two long sleeve 2 piece outfits, a short sleeved/long pant 1 piece outfit, a set of 5 onesies, a set of 3 onesie shirts, and a pack of 2 pants to go with the onesie shirts. Then we had lunch at Panera Bread, which was packed. Delilah begged and fussed for food the entire time. I kept giving it to her and she kept shoveling it in, boy is she a good eater. After lunch we went to the Stride Rite store where I found tennis shoes for Aidan for $19.99. Our last stop was Gymboree where I spent far too much money and didn't quite get as good a deal as in Carter's. But for Gymboree it was a good deal. I got 3 long sleeve shirts for $8.99 each, a short sleeved shirt for $8.99, and a sunflower outfit for Delilah that I paid probably $25-$30 for, I can't recall now exactly how much. It's cute though and makes a perfect fall outfit, maybe she'll wear it to the Applefest, if it's not too hot (which it will be).
After that store my patience (and pain killers) had worn thin. It was time to go. As I was walking to the car Rosy was calling to say she was meeting me there. I politely had to bow out, I had been there for a couple of hours already and was DONE. I had asked her to meet me there earlier but she couldn't. We went to my mom's to wait for her to get off work as she was riding with us to pick Lilly up and then we were all going to get my dad at the airport. When we got to the camp Lilly was wearing her PJ's, she said she ran out of clean clothes because it rained so much. I was not fond of her walking around in her PJ's and was even less fond of the idea when we found out my dad's plane was delayed. To kill time we went to the new JCPenney's and Target (where Patience now works). My mom tried to convince me people would just think she was wearing a short set, but I was still not thrilled with the whole thing. Then we were 5mins late getting my dad and he threw a small hissy. He's such a girl sometimes. :P
We went back to their house so they could feed us. Then we went home where the girls had showers and went to bed. Saturday morning came far to soon for me. Delilah decided to wake us up at 6:00am and we all know how much I love that. At least her pooping went back to normal but why does it always happen The.Day.After.The.Doctors.Appointment? So not cool. I had to be up anyways on Saturday, even though I didn't want to be. I started the morning by giving Delilah and Sophia a bath while I shaved my legs in the sink (TMI?). Then while they were all having breakfast I showered. I rushed them to get dressed, teeth brushed, and shoes on so we could be out the door by 8:30am. Just as I got off post I realized I forgot the gift cards to Chuck E Cheese, had to turn around and go back for them. Got to my mom's early enough to print coupons for CEC, then we headed out to pick up V (who lives around the corner from my parents, how cool is that?).
We arrived at the mall in time to potty before Club Libby Lu opened. We were the first appointment of the day and had undivided attention for quite awhile. The girls had a blast, as always. It was V's first time so she had so much fun. I didn't like the song they choose to dance to though and the girl didn't have it nearly loud enough. So we didn't get a repeat of Aidan's previous performance that my mom's camera killed. But after $150 they had fun and it was time to eat lunch. I had to stop for -er- "supplies" for my current predicament, since I am always forgetting such "supplies" at home. My mom said I must have a years supply as often as I forget and have to purchase more. But I bought the wrong ones, so that sucked. They work, but aren't my favorite.
CEC was next. That place gives me a headache. All the yelling you have to do for people to hear you. I am NOT a fan of having to yell for 2 hours straight. We allowed Lilly and V to go off on their own, as long as they stuck together, which they did. My brother, Rosy, and Alan stuck together. And Mariana a former exchange student (Rosy's friend) was visiting with them and she took Aidan around. I took Sophia around and my poor mom (she hurt her neck on Friday moving furniture at work) she stayed at the table with Delilah. Sophia had the most tickets (well except for Rosy) she had over 300. Rosy had over 600. We finally started to head home at 2pm. Stopping only for gas and frozen custard. I dropped V off, then my mom, and we headed home. It was early bedtime for the younger girls.
THIS morning I was awakened at 6:15am with a poopy diaper I didn't realize was poopy when I tried to change it in the crib. So my day started off with bathing Delilah, again. I was wide awake, as was she, after that. I came down stairs, feed her, and started laundry. At 8am when she was ready for her nap I went to put her in the crib and ants had infested it, in the 2hrs since I had woke up! I was not pleased. I laid her down in Sophia's room, in the pack n play, that's where Alan sleeps when he is over. Then I got to work, found out they were coming in my window (2nd story window nonetheless), I killed them all with Raid aerosol spray. It about killed my lungs, I was coughing so bad. Then I wiped down the walls with Lysol and cleaned her mattress with Lysol. By then I figured I might as well clean my sheets and such too, so I stripped my bed also. I haven't seen another ant in that room since, thankfully.
After that mess I was sweaty and hot, so I showered. Then I got everyone ready to go. We had lunch at my mom's before taking the kids to Jason & Rosy's. They stayed with Jason while mom, Rosy, and I went to my cousin's bride's shower. It was okay. Their house stunk like cat litter though and it took about an hour for my nose to become accustomed to the smell. We played a few games, in which I found out how very little I know about her. I didn't even know her age and they have been together for four years. Maybe I should get to know her, I never did before because I never thought they'd stay together. They had many problems the first couple of years. We left after the games were over and presents were opened, we didn't even eat cake. It didn't look very good, white cake with white frosting not my favorite.
Since we have been home I have done some housework and ordered some fun things from Etsy. DAMN K! For showing me that website. I have ordered Delilah a birthday dress and bib. I ordered a bow holder and a paci clip for Alan. Now I am just browsing, I cut myself off for a little while. :P
So that was my weekend......how was yours?
I headed out first to get my new contacts. I have this weird thing with my eyes where protein builds up on my lenses and I miss read the directions on my bottle of cleaning fluid. My eyes feel soooo much better now. While we were waiting in the optometrist's office an older lady was gushing over the girls. It's always nice to hear how cute they are, what beautiful names they have, and well behaved they are, even if they are bouncing around like kangaroos on crack.
After I paused long enough to put my new contacts in, we headed off to The Legends. It's an open air strip outlet mall. I went to Carter's first where I got Delilah's fall wardrobe (most of it) at a really decent price. If I paid sticker price I would have spent around $118, if I paid the sale price I would have paid $68, I paid $48. For that price I got two long sleeve 2 piece outfits, a short sleeved/long pant 1 piece outfit, a set of 5 onesies, a set of 3 onesie shirts, and a pack of 2 pants to go with the onesie shirts. Then we had lunch at Panera Bread, which was packed. Delilah begged and fussed for food the entire time. I kept giving it to her and she kept shoveling it in, boy is she a good eater. After lunch we went to the Stride Rite store where I found tennis shoes for Aidan for $19.99. Our last stop was Gymboree where I spent far too much money and didn't quite get as good a deal as in Carter's. But for Gymboree it was a good deal. I got 3 long sleeve shirts for $8.99 each, a short sleeved shirt for $8.99, and a sunflower outfit for Delilah that I paid probably $25-$30 for, I can't recall now exactly how much. It's cute though and makes a perfect fall outfit, maybe she'll wear it to the Applefest, if it's not too hot (which it will be).
After that store my patience (and pain killers) had worn thin. It was time to go. As I was walking to the car Rosy was calling to say she was meeting me there. I politely had to bow out, I had been there for a couple of hours already and was DONE. I had asked her to meet me there earlier but she couldn't. We went to my mom's to wait for her to get off work as she was riding with us to pick Lilly up and then we were all going to get my dad at the airport. When we got to the camp Lilly was wearing her PJ's, she said she ran out of clean clothes because it rained so much. I was not fond of her walking around in her PJ's and was even less fond of the idea when we found out my dad's plane was delayed. To kill time we went to the new JCPenney's and Target (where Patience now works). My mom tried to convince me people would just think she was wearing a short set, but I was still not thrilled with the whole thing. Then we were 5mins late getting my dad and he threw a small hissy. He's such a girl sometimes. :P
We went back to their house so they could feed us. Then we went home where the girls had showers and went to bed. Saturday morning came far to soon for me. Delilah decided to wake us up at 6:00am and we all know how much I love that. At least her pooping went back to normal but why does it always happen The.Day.After.The.Doctors.Appointment? So not cool. I had to be up anyways on Saturday, even though I didn't want to be. I started the morning by giving Delilah and Sophia a bath while I shaved my legs in the sink (TMI?). Then while they were all having breakfast I showered. I rushed them to get dressed, teeth brushed, and shoes on so we could be out the door by 8:30am. Just as I got off post I realized I forgot the gift cards to Chuck E Cheese, had to turn around and go back for them. Got to my mom's early enough to print coupons for CEC, then we headed out to pick up V (who lives around the corner from my parents, how cool is that?).
We arrived at the mall in time to potty before Club Libby Lu opened. We were the first appointment of the day and had undivided attention for quite awhile. The girls had a blast, as always. It was V's first time so she had so much fun. I didn't like the song they choose to dance to though and the girl didn't have it nearly loud enough. So we didn't get a repeat of Aidan's previous performance that my mom's camera killed. But after $150 they had fun and it was time to eat lunch. I had to stop for -er- "supplies" for my current predicament, since I am always forgetting such "supplies" at home. My mom said I must have a years supply as often as I forget and have to purchase more. But I bought the wrong ones, so that sucked. They work, but aren't my favorite.
CEC was next. That place gives me a headache. All the yelling you have to do for people to hear you. I am NOT a fan of having to yell for 2 hours straight. We allowed Lilly and V to go off on their own, as long as they stuck together, which they did. My brother, Rosy, and Alan stuck together. And Mariana a former exchange student (Rosy's friend) was visiting with them and she took Aidan around. I took Sophia around and my poor mom (she hurt her neck on Friday moving furniture at work) she stayed at the table with Delilah. Sophia had the most tickets (well except for Rosy) she had over 300. Rosy had over 600. We finally started to head home at 2pm. Stopping only for gas and frozen custard. I dropped V off, then my mom, and we headed home. It was early bedtime for the younger girls.
THIS morning I was awakened at 6:15am with a poopy diaper I didn't realize was poopy when I tried to change it in the crib. So my day started off with bathing Delilah, again. I was wide awake, as was she, after that. I came down stairs, feed her, and started laundry. At 8am when she was ready for her nap I went to put her in the crib and ants had infested it, in the 2hrs since I had woke up! I was not pleased. I laid her down in Sophia's room, in the pack n play, that's where Alan sleeps when he is over. Then I got to work, found out they were coming in my window (2nd story window nonetheless), I killed them all with Raid aerosol spray. It about killed my lungs, I was coughing so bad. Then I wiped down the walls with Lysol and cleaned her mattress with Lysol. By then I figured I might as well clean my sheets and such too, so I stripped my bed also. I haven't seen another ant in that room since, thankfully.
After that mess I was sweaty and hot, so I showered. Then I got everyone ready to go. We had lunch at my mom's before taking the kids to Jason & Rosy's. They stayed with Jason while mom, Rosy, and I went to my cousin's bride's shower. It was okay. Their house stunk like cat litter though and it took about an hour for my nose to become accustomed to the smell. We played a few games, in which I found out how very little I know about her. I didn't even know her age and they have been together for four years. Maybe I should get to know her, I never did before because I never thought they'd stay together. They had many problems the first couple of years. We left after the games were over and presents were opened, we didn't even eat cake. It didn't look very good, white cake with white frosting not my favorite.
Since we have been home I have done some housework and ordered some fun things from Etsy. DAMN K! For showing me that website. I have ordered Delilah a birthday dress and bib. I ordered a bow holder and a paci clip for Alan. Now I am just browsing, I cut myself off for a little while. :P
So that was my weekend......how was yours?
Thursday, July 31
Long Day....
My day started at 8:30am, not too shabby. BUT it started with a foul smell AGAIN! At least this time it stayed inside her clothes and I didn't have to strip the crib again. I lazed around for an hour then realized I only had a half an our to be ready to go to the doctor and to be ready for being out of the house all day long. A shower was out, normally I shower every morning, especially if I am going out, but today it was not an option. I did have to shower Sophia though, she went potty by herself with her nightgown on and dipped it in the potty.
Aidan arrived home last night at 10pm, so she was here to slow me down. That child, good lord she is slow. I put my clothes on, brushed my teeth, fixed my hair, and packed the diaper bag before she got her shorts on. It takes a lot of "Come on Aidan, Let's go Aidan" to keep her moving. I was so not in the mood, I would find out later in the day why.
Delilah had a 10:40am doctor's appointment but we had to be there by 10:20am, I was there at 10:10am. I am pretty much always a little early, otherwise I feel like I am late. She is now 21.5 lbs fully clothed and 28inches long. Our doctor looked at her and said pretty much what I thought, wait and see since it seems to be getting better. She went from 5 poopy diapers on Sat. to 2 yesterday and so far today. She's not dehydrated, she's eating normally, behaving normally, and drinking plenty. So she told me to bring her back if it's still going on, Monday. Then they will do a "stool study" which sounds utterly disgusting and I am glad it's not my job to look through her poop.
After the doctor we had to swing by the house since I forgot to grab the juice boxes for our play date lunch. Then we ran over to my mom's where I made sandwiches and picked her up. Then we headed to her school to meet up with Bo and her kids Carly and Carson. They are very shy and she wants to socialize them more. Bo is the behavior specialist that works at my mom's school. She is the one who helped us potty train Sophia in ONE FREAKING DAY (at 2yrs 2mths nonetheless)! We thought Carly and Sophia would play more than they did, but Carly gravitated more towards Aidan, she is a little older than Sophia. But Carson is Sophia's age and they hit it off. As we walked into the building from the playground they held hands. I have pictures I will share next Wednesday.
After our playdate we headed to shop. Sears is having a huge sale on clearance items, an extra 40% off. I found quite a few things for Delilah and a jacket for Sophia, plus a pair of sneakers for Lilly. $19.99 for skechers is a big deal for me, they are never that cheap. I just hope they fit her, she may need a 13.5 and these are a 13. I am crossing my fingers. Unfortunately they didn't have any in Aidan's size for $19.99. While in Sears I realized I started my period, which makes me oh so pleased since its almost a week early. Plus Sophia had a little troubles with poop in her panties, she farted and left a mess (that's as politely as I can think to put it). I had to buy a pack of panties for her, they were $5.50 and HUGE even though they said 2T/3T. Besides the shoes they were the most expensive thing in my cart, that didn't please me. It didn't bother me she had an accident, but that I had to pay that much for crappy panties (no pun intended) kind of irked me.
After Sears we went to Target to get a gift for my cousin's bride's shower. I decided on a gift card since there was not much in the store in my price range. It's pretty amazing they are getting married, no one ever thought he would ever get married. Of course we thought that of my brother too. I guess people change and I am happy for them. The dumbass teenaged boy who was my cashier thought it appropriate to put my gift card and greeting card in with the four bottles of hair detangler I had also purchased. This stuff has been known to leak. I didn't say anything to him, although maybe I should have brought it up to him gently. Instead I moved the cards to my purse and went on my merry way.
We headed back to my mom's after that, she is alone right now as my dad is still in Chicago. We had burgers with her then came home. But not before Delilah filled her pants getting it up to her neck and on my mom's carpet somehow. Very gross.
Aidan and Sophia went to bed at 7am and now I am just waiting until 9pm to put Delilah down. Mom starts working tomorrow, so my morning will be spent at home. At 4:30pm we pick Lilly up and then there is a little more than a week left before SCHOOL STARTS!!!
Aidan arrived home last night at 10pm, so she was here to slow me down. That child, good lord she is slow. I put my clothes on, brushed my teeth, fixed my hair, and packed the diaper bag before she got her shorts on. It takes a lot of "Come on Aidan, Let's go Aidan" to keep her moving. I was so not in the mood, I would find out later in the day why.
Delilah had a 10:40am doctor's appointment but we had to be there by 10:20am, I was there at 10:10am. I am pretty much always a little early, otherwise I feel like I am late. She is now 21.5 lbs fully clothed and 28inches long. Our doctor looked at her and said pretty much what I thought, wait and see since it seems to be getting better. She went from 5 poopy diapers on Sat. to 2 yesterday and so far today. She's not dehydrated, she's eating normally, behaving normally, and drinking plenty. So she told me to bring her back if it's still going on, Monday. Then they will do a "stool study" which sounds utterly disgusting and I am glad it's not my job to look through her poop.
After the doctor we had to swing by the house since I forgot to grab the juice boxes for our play date lunch. Then we ran over to my mom's where I made sandwiches and picked her up. Then we headed to her school to meet up with Bo and her kids Carly and Carson. They are very shy and she wants to socialize them more. Bo is the behavior specialist that works at my mom's school. She is the one who helped us potty train Sophia in ONE FREAKING DAY (at 2yrs 2mths nonetheless)! We thought Carly and Sophia would play more than they did, but Carly gravitated more towards Aidan, she is a little older than Sophia. But Carson is Sophia's age and they hit it off. As we walked into the building from the playground they held hands. I have pictures I will share next Wednesday.
After our playdate we headed to shop. Sears is having a huge sale on clearance items, an extra 40% off. I found quite a few things for Delilah and a jacket for Sophia, plus a pair of sneakers for Lilly. $19.99 for skechers is a big deal for me, they are never that cheap. I just hope they fit her, she may need a 13.5 and these are a 13. I am crossing my fingers. Unfortunately they didn't have any in Aidan's size for $19.99. While in Sears I realized I started my period, which makes me oh so pleased since its almost a week early. Plus Sophia had a little troubles with poop in her panties, she farted and left a mess (that's as politely as I can think to put it). I had to buy a pack of panties for her, they were $5.50 and HUGE even though they said 2T/3T. Besides the shoes they were the most expensive thing in my cart, that didn't please me. It didn't bother me she had an accident, but that I had to pay that much for crappy panties (no pun intended) kind of irked me.
After Sears we went to Target to get a gift for my cousin's bride's shower. I decided on a gift card since there was not much in the store in my price range. It's pretty amazing they are getting married, no one ever thought he would ever get married. Of course we thought that of my brother too. I guess people change and I am happy for them. The dumbass teenaged boy who was my cashier thought it appropriate to put my gift card and greeting card in with the four bottles of hair detangler I had also purchased. This stuff has been known to leak. I didn't say anything to him, although maybe I should have brought it up to him gently. Instead I moved the cards to my purse and went on my merry way.
We headed back to my mom's after that, she is alone right now as my dad is still in Chicago. We had burgers with her then came home. But not before Delilah filled her pants getting it up to her neck and on my mom's carpet somehow. Very gross.
Aidan and Sophia went to bed at 7am and now I am just waiting until 9pm to put Delilah down. Mom starts working tomorrow, so my morning will be spent at home. At 4:30pm we pick Lilly up and then there is a little more than a week left before SCHOOL STARTS!!!
Thursday, July 24
Depression has set in....
RePost- Sorry Marie
I need to snap out of it, I am not liking the way I am feeling this week. It doesn't help I have forgotten to take my anti-depressants more often than I have remembered to. Plus my children are done with summer and want to go back to school. If only they realized I wish for that more than they do. I have been having an extremely bad case of the bad mommies these past few days. I have lost my patience more often that not. I hate yelling at them, but when you ask and ask and ask again, yelling seems like the only viable option left. Fighting has been the biggest issue, mostly between the oldest two. My next biggest complaint is noise. They cannot play quietly EVER. While I don't expect them to be quiet 100% of the time, there are times when I need peace. I have taken to staying up way too late, which then makes me grumpier.
I told Kale I hate him yesterday. I don't mean it, but I am angry that I am alone and last night he went to dinner with a bunch of important people. It's not his fault, I know it, but I can't help feeling jipped. It's been hard these past three days to hold myself together and not break down. But last night I did, I cried like a baby. I hate crying, it leaves my nose stuffy and my eyes puffy. I also think of it as a weakness and I don't like feeling weak. My mom is out of town until Friday, so I can't talk to her or have her help. Plus she is dealing with a lot right now. Her school is moving to a new building and they expect her to move everything alone. I also don't like her seeing me like this, until recently she didn't know I was even taking anti-depressants. I hide a lot of my true feeling from my family and friends, usually Kale is the only one who knows what I am feeling. It sucks for him to have to deal with me alone, but I don't want our family and friends to think I am weak.
I really NEED to get over this by Saturday. It's Lilly's 9th Birthday and I need to be good mommy. We aren't doing her special day until August 2nd, but we will have the family party on her b-day, I ordered the cake today. I guess I am doing somethings right. I really begin to feel better when I get small things done, like the dishes or the laundry. One positive thing happened on Tuesday, Rosy came over to drop Alan off to me, I am watching him for a few hours all week. Well she came early and she was either bored or sick of my pile of clean laundry. She.Folded.It.ALL! Then last night when they came to get him (he stayed longer than they had said he would) they brought me a piece of Linda's Fudge Cake from Cheesecake Factory, I needed it. I also finished it, which doesn't help my fat butt any, considering it's 33 weight watcher points. Why can't I be one of those people that can't eat while they are depressed? Instead I am an "eats chocolate until she is sick" depressant.
I have tried to keep my depressed mood off my blog, but I can't right now. I will snap out of it this weekend, when my mom gets home, my van is done, and my kids are busy being with other people. Sunday Lilly heads to camp #2 for 6 nights and Aidan heads to Chicago with my parents for 3 nights. It will just be Sophia, Delilah, and I, it will be glorious. Then I will have one week before school starts and that week they are taking dance for 2hrs each afternoon Mon-Thurs. My mood is picking up a little already at the thought of school beginning. Things will get better, I know it.
I need to snap out of it, I am not liking the way I am feeling this week. It doesn't help I have forgotten to take my anti-depressants more often than I have remembered to. Plus my children are done with summer and want to go back to school. If only they realized I wish for that more than they do. I have been having an extremely bad case of the bad mommies these past few days. I have lost my patience more often that not. I hate yelling at them, but when you ask and ask and ask again, yelling seems like the only viable option left. Fighting has been the biggest issue, mostly between the oldest two. My next biggest complaint is noise. They cannot play quietly EVER. While I don't expect them to be quiet 100% of the time, there are times when I need peace. I have taken to staying up way too late, which then makes me grumpier.
I told Kale I hate him yesterday. I don't mean it, but I am angry that I am alone and last night he went to dinner with a bunch of important people. It's not his fault, I know it, but I can't help feeling jipped. It's been hard these past three days to hold myself together and not break down. But last night I did, I cried like a baby. I hate crying, it leaves my nose stuffy and my eyes puffy. I also think of it as a weakness and I don't like feeling weak. My mom is out of town until Friday, so I can't talk to her or have her help. Plus she is dealing with a lot right now. Her school is moving to a new building and they expect her to move everything alone. I also don't like her seeing me like this, until recently she didn't know I was even taking anti-depressants. I hide a lot of my true feeling from my family and friends, usually Kale is the only one who knows what I am feeling. It sucks for him to have to deal with me alone, but I don't want our family and friends to think I am weak.
I really NEED to get over this by Saturday. It's Lilly's 9th Birthday and I need to be good mommy. We aren't doing her special day until August 2nd, but we will have the family party on her b-day, I ordered the cake today. I guess I am doing somethings right. I really begin to feel better when I get small things done, like the dishes or the laundry. One positive thing happened on Tuesday, Rosy came over to drop Alan off to me, I am watching him for a few hours all week. Well she came early and she was either bored or sick of my pile of clean laundry. She.Folded.It.ALL! Then last night when they came to get him (he stayed longer than they had said he would) they brought me a piece of Linda's Fudge Cake from Cheesecake Factory, I needed it. I also finished it, which doesn't help my fat butt any, considering it's 33 weight watcher points. Why can't I be one of those people that can't eat while they are depressed? Instead I am an "eats chocolate until she is sick" depressant.
I have tried to keep my depressed mood off my blog, but I can't right now. I will snap out of it this weekend, when my mom gets home, my van is done, and my kids are busy being with other people. Sunday Lilly heads to camp #2 for 6 nights and Aidan heads to Chicago with my parents for 3 nights. It will just be Sophia, Delilah, and I, it will be glorious. Then I will have one week before school starts and that week they are taking dance for 2hrs each afternoon Mon-Thurs. My mood is picking up a little already at the thought of school beginning. Things will get better, I know it.
Monday, July 21
Copious Amounts of Chocolate Needed
And all that chocolate? Eaten, an entire bag of Lindt Lindor Truffle (milk if you are curious). I needed them, all of them. The little orange pills I take to stay balanced were not enough today.
First I took Lilly to the dentist, but since my mom was working and Alan does not feel well, I had to take the other three also. I figured it would be fine, they have a huge play area and video game room. For the most part it was perfectly fine. There was one screaming fit from Sophia when there was an injustice done to her. And I finally let Delilah down to crawl around, the floor seemed pretty clean. It must have been because her legs and feet weren't covered in dirt like they were when she crawled on the floor of the hotel room in Branson. Lilly was in the back for an hour and everything was perfect with her teeth. So we left.
I guess I am a glutton for punishment because I decided to do the school shopping today, With.All.FOUR. Don't ask me why, I guess I just wanted out of the house and to spend some money. First we went to lunch at Applebee's. They were pretty well behaved, Aidan took to long to eat and Sophia didn't eat much, but they behaved. The food wasn't as good as usual, but overall it was a good time. Then we went to Babies R Us where I bought 2 new strollers, because you know I don't have enough. I bought two new umbrella type strollers. One was a Chicco so therefore more expensive and the other was one of their $20 ones they have hanging on a rack. I have my reasons and since they probably won't make sense to anyone anyways, I won't say anything more than the two new strollers will fit well in the van with the Sit N' Stand.
After Babies R Us we went to Target, heading straight to the potty. While in there I had the door flung open, while I was peeing. Aidan tried to pick the lock on a woman in a stall, while I had my back to her. I turned around to find her doing this when the woman said "Honey, someone is in here." So then I made her stand up against the wall while I finished changing Delilah. So yeah, it started out wonderfully. I should have left then and cut my losses. Instead I kept on trucking. Delilah was exhausted, she had only napped for 15mins on the way to North KC. So she was a pleasure. I had the brilliant idea to put her in the Umbroller and to have Lilly push her while the other two sat in the cart. You have no idea (or maybe you do) how exhausting it is to have Aidan walk in the store. The child is slow and deaf apparently, at least deaf to the sound of my voice. And she is a toucher, touching EVERYTHING. SO having her in the cart did help. Once Lilly understood she can't put her head down and RUN with the stroller she was fine pushing Delilah. Even though practically the entire time we were there Delilah fussed. I made it out with nearly everything on their lists and a bunch of stuff not on that list. The chocolate was one of the things NOT on the list. Aidan was like "is this for us?" I told her no, I needed it. She asked why and I said "Because you have driven me crazy and this will help."
After I paid I had to get everyone back in Kale's tiny car and try and fit everything in also. I forgot to empty the trunk, so most of it had to go on the floor board in front of Lilly. Now? I am going to sit and finish drinking the gallon of water needed to help flush some of the chocolate out of my body. And hope Delilah and Sophia nap for a little while longer.
First I took Lilly to the dentist, but since my mom was working and Alan does not feel well, I had to take the other three also. I figured it would be fine, they have a huge play area and video game room. For the most part it was perfectly fine. There was one screaming fit from Sophia when there was an injustice done to her. And I finally let Delilah down to crawl around, the floor seemed pretty clean. It must have been because her legs and feet weren't covered in dirt like they were when she crawled on the floor of the hotel room in Branson. Lilly was in the back for an hour and everything was perfect with her teeth. So we left.
I guess I am a glutton for punishment because I decided to do the school shopping today, With.All.FOUR. Don't ask me why, I guess I just wanted out of the house and to spend some money. First we went to lunch at Applebee's. They were pretty well behaved, Aidan took to long to eat and Sophia didn't eat much, but they behaved. The food wasn't as good as usual, but overall it was a good time. Then we went to Babies R Us where I bought 2 new strollers, because you know I don't have enough. I bought two new umbrella type strollers. One was a Chicco so therefore more expensive and the other was one of their $20 ones they have hanging on a rack. I have my reasons and since they probably won't make sense to anyone anyways, I won't say anything more than the two new strollers will fit well in the van with the Sit N' Stand.
After Babies R Us we went to Target, heading straight to the potty. While in there I had the door flung open, while I was peeing. Aidan tried to pick the lock on a woman in a stall, while I had my back to her. I turned around to find her doing this when the woman said "Honey, someone is in here." So then I made her stand up against the wall while I finished changing Delilah. So yeah, it started out wonderfully. I should have left then and cut my losses. Instead I kept on trucking. Delilah was exhausted, she had only napped for 15mins on the way to North KC. So she was a pleasure. I had the brilliant idea to put her in the Umbroller and to have Lilly push her while the other two sat in the cart. You have no idea (or maybe you do) how exhausting it is to have Aidan walk in the store. The child is slow and deaf apparently, at least deaf to the sound of my voice. And she is a toucher, touching EVERYTHING. SO having her in the cart did help. Once Lilly understood she can't put her head down and RUN with the stroller she was fine pushing Delilah. Even though practically the entire time we were there Delilah fussed. I made it out with nearly everything on their lists and a bunch of stuff not on that list. The chocolate was one of the things NOT on the list. Aidan was like "is this for us?" I told her no, I needed it. She asked why and I said "Because you have driven me crazy and this will help."
After I paid I had to get everyone back in Kale's tiny car and try and fit everything in also. I forgot to empty the trunk, so most of it had to go on the floor board in front of Lilly. Now? I am going to sit and finish drinking the gallon of water needed to help flush some of the chocolate out of my body. And hope Delilah and Sophia nap for a little while longer.
Sunday, July 20
It's sooo hot and humid here....
Summer has taken hold in KS. KS summers are very hot and humid. When you go outside you are immediately sticky and sweaty. Makes you feel pretty.
Last night we went to Atchison, KS for the Amelia Earhart Festival. She was born in Atchison and they hold tight to that claim to fame. They even have a bridge that has a spotlight shining to the heavens above to "light her way home". They also have an AWESOME fireworks show set to music. It's always better than Fort Leavenworth's 4th of July show. This time Aidan sat on my mom's lap for only the first song, then she moved down to her own chair. I am sure my mom was grateful, it was hot as hell. It was a wonderful show, a good time, but we didn't get home until midnight.
Lilly's home and had a wonderful time. She made lots of friends, including the snotty cabinmates. Her one cabinmate even asked for our phone number. Her nose and cheeks were a little sunburnt but other than that she was in one piece. She only mailed one letter, to her Grammie. All it said was "Dear Grammie and Pop, I like potatos! Love, Lilly". It's some weird thing she and her BFF say all the time. I was also glad to hear they fixed her mosquito netting the first day.
And now, since I am tired and can't think anymore, I will leave you two recent Aidan anecdotes.
We are in Kohls and Aidan starts saying very loudly:
Mommy you wear a size 1 EXTRA. Look this one is your size, it's a 1 EXTRA!
I had to politely explain why she shouldn't do that and how it embarrassed me.
Then last night my mom was pouring water from one bottle to another and spills on herself.
Mom: Damn, now I look like I wet my pants.
Aidan: Nonnie, did you forget to put on a PAD?
Luckily no one outside of a 3ft radius could hear her because of the fireworks.
Last night we went to Atchison, KS for the Amelia Earhart Festival. She was born in Atchison and they hold tight to that claim to fame. They even have a bridge that has a spotlight shining to the heavens above to "light her way home". They also have an AWESOME fireworks show set to music. It's always better than Fort Leavenworth's 4th of July show. This time Aidan sat on my mom's lap for only the first song, then she moved down to her own chair. I am sure my mom was grateful, it was hot as hell. It was a wonderful show, a good time, but we didn't get home until midnight.
Lilly's home and had a wonderful time. She made lots of friends, including the snotty cabinmates. Her one cabinmate even asked for our phone number. Her nose and cheeks were a little sunburnt but other than that she was in one piece. She only mailed one letter, to her Grammie. All it said was "Dear Grammie and Pop, I like potatos! Love, Lilly". It's some weird thing she and her BFF say all the time. I was also glad to hear they fixed her mosquito netting the first day.
And now, since I am tired and can't think anymore, I will leave you two recent Aidan anecdotes.
We are in Kohls and Aidan starts saying very loudly:
Mommy you wear a size 1 EXTRA. Look this one is your size, it's a 1 EXTRA!
I had to politely explain why she shouldn't do that and how it embarrassed me.
Then last night my mom was pouring water from one bottle to another and spills on herself.
Mom: Damn, now I look like I wet my pants.
Aidan: Nonnie, did you forget to put on a PAD?
Luckily no one outside of a 3ft radius could hear her because of the fireworks.
Thursday, July 17
Some Unfinished Buisness
Jenn asked for a picture of my "new" couch awhile ago, like over a month ago when I purchased it. I am just now getting around to taking and posting pictures of it.
Please ignore the pile of clean laundry, I know I am. :P
Please ignore the pile of clean laundry, I know I am. :PDamn that wall is bare! It used to house everything on the opposite wall, but I get bored and move things around every few months. I really should put it back, but I really can't now, the couch works perfectly in that corner and won't on the other wall.
Also ignore the cat fur on the chaise, that's BC's favorite spot and I forgot to vacuum there when I vacuumed today.
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K brought me a wonderful present from her sil Marie from Memarie Lane. I had dumped a bunch of my baby clothes off on her, I mean gave, I gave a bunch of baby clothes to her. :P I am just glad they can go to a good home where they are wanted, needed, or appreciated. I spent a ton of money on baby clothes and it's nice to know who they go to, usually I just give them to Goodwill. And as a nice surprise, totally unnecessary but appreciated nonetheless, she sent a bunch of her handmade hairbows to me. Aren't they just the cutest? You can't really appreciate the cuteness with out clicking on the picture for the original size.
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Today is going to be busy and stressful, I am taking Aidan and Sophia to the dentist. Aidan has major dental issues, not cavities, but a narrow palette with extra teeth. We will find out exactly how many extra teeth she has and discuss the plan of action. Her dentist has previously told us it's going to take years to fix her problems and cost us $3000 out of pocket. Lucky us. I had a narrow palette too, but we had it spread with a retainer. My dad had extra teeth but my grandma said they fell out on their own, weird. I swear to you the first visit we had with the dentist he kept saying "Huh, I have never seen this before" or "Huh, this is interesting." Not good things to hear from the dentist. I am not looking forward to this visit, he is doing a panoramic x-ray of her mouth, insurance only allows two of these in your lifetime. You know what the worst part of this all? It had to be Aidan, the most dramatic, unreasonable child we have. Wish me luck!
Thursday, June 26
Swimming at the State Park
Update: For anyone who subscribes, I apologize. I realized I published this the same day as Wordless Wednesday, after I had published WW. So I republished it for today.
So I did something I haven't done in years, since before my children were born, well at least I haven't done it unless I was pregnant. I went swimming, in a swimming suit. Courtesy of K who sent me her old suit. It took a lot for me to get over my weight issues enough to put the thing on and play with my girls, but I did it. I did it because my fil alone couldn't have watched the three bigger girls in the pool by himself. My mil went "swimming" but the water was too cold and she wouldn't go in any deeper than her ankles, wuss. The first day they had fun but since my girls don't swim and are scared of water for some unknown reason. I loved to swim, still do. I was a master at swimming as a child, my kids can't pass level one lessons. They have a fear of the water that is foreign to me.
The second day we went swimming we brought rings and a boat. They loved it, were so brave. By the end all three were jumping off the edge holding onto the rings. The same girls the day before were staying where they could touch and didn't dare let us take them in deeper. It was amazing and wonderful a perfect day. Until....
Judy and I were sitting on the stairs chatting as the girls were playing. She turns to me and after sizing me up says "When we get home I will have to sit on your feet and make you do sit ups. You need to firm up your tummy." I honestly didn't know what to do or say, I wanted to cry or yell. Instead I said "Wow, I guess I know I will never be wearing this suit out in public again." To which she replied "Oh, well your not the biggest girl here."
Later that night I relayed the story via messenger to Kale, I couldn't tell him when he called she was in the room. He was very upset with her. I nearly cried typing it to him. Then this morning I called my mom while Judy was in the store and told her. I burst into tears as I told her, she couldn't believe she would say that to me. Honestly, I know I am fat. Personally when I see myself naked I am disgusted. But those are my issues and I try not to bitch about it. Because honestly all I need is more will power. My problem is I am an emotional eater, I eat when I am sad or angry. So this month? I have eaten like a pig and not felt like doing much about it. I gained most of my weight when we lived in MA. I wish for the days before we moved there, when I thought I was fat. I so was not fat. Heavy, husky, fluffy but not fat. Now? I am fat. I avoid full length mirrors if possible. The worst part for me is my face is fat. I never had that until a few years back. I am going to try and work on my weight this year. But you never know.
In a nut shell, she ruined a perfectly happy day for me. Well, part of it. At least the pictures are going to bring back happy memories and in time I will forget what she said.
So I did something I haven't done in years, since before my children were born, well at least I haven't done it unless I was pregnant. I went swimming, in a swimming suit. Courtesy of K who sent me her old suit. It took a lot for me to get over my weight issues enough to put the thing on and play with my girls, but I did it. I did it because my fil alone couldn't have watched the three bigger girls in the pool by himself. My mil went "swimming" but the water was too cold and she wouldn't go in any deeper than her ankles, wuss. The first day they had fun but since my girls don't swim and are scared of water for some unknown reason. I loved to swim, still do. I was a master at swimming as a child, my kids can't pass level one lessons. They have a fear of the water that is foreign to me.
The second day we went swimming we brought rings and a boat. They loved it, were so brave. By the end all three were jumping off the edge holding onto the rings. The same girls the day before were staying where they could touch and didn't dare let us take them in deeper. It was amazing and wonderful a perfect day. Until....
Judy and I were sitting on the stairs chatting as the girls were playing. She turns to me and after sizing me up says "When we get home I will have to sit on your feet and make you do sit ups. You need to firm up your tummy." I honestly didn't know what to do or say, I wanted to cry or yell. Instead I said "Wow, I guess I know I will never be wearing this suit out in public again." To which she replied "Oh, well your not the biggest girl here."
Later that night I relayed the story via messenger to Kale, I couldn't tell him when he called she was in the room. He was very upset with her. I nearly cried typing it to him. Then this morning I called my mom while Judy was in the store and told her. I burst into tears as I told her, she couldn't believe she would say that to me. Honestly, I know I am fat. Personally when I see myself naked I am disgusted. But those are my issues and I try not to bitch about it. Because honestly all I need is more will power. My problem is I am an emotional eater, I eat when I am sad or angry. So this month? I have eaten like a pig and not felt like doing much about it. I gained most of my weight when we lived in MA. I wish for the days before we moved there, when I thought I was fat. I so was not fat. Heavy, husky, fluffy but not fat. Now? I am fat. I avoid full length mirrors if possible. The worst part for me is my face is fat. I never had that until a few years back. I am going to try and work on my weight this year. But you never know.
In a nut shell, she ruined a perfectly happy day for me. Well, part of it. At least the pictures are going to bring back happy memories and in time I will forget what she said.
Sunday, June 15
Happy Father's Day
We spent our father's day in Chattanooga at the Tennessee Aquarium. It was a 2hr drive and on the way Lilly was ill, she ended up throwing up about 18miles from our destination. It was a lovely drive, listening to my children all claim upset tummies, Aidan and Sophia took their cue from Lilly (who was actually ill). They saw me give her gum to chew to try and settle her tummy, so they claimed ill to try and get some. I don't give them gum in my car anymore, not after I found it on the floor barely covered with a straw wrapper. I know it was Aidan, Sophia just swallows it immediately.
After we arrived, parked, figured out the pay booth for the parking lot (my fil is not very good with technology so I had to figure it out for him), and bought our tickets it was 11am. We wandered around the Rivers portion of the Aquarium (it has two separate buildings) then had lunch at TGI Fridays. After lunch we went to a candy shop and a fudge shop but the fudge shop was all out of chocolate peanut butter fudge (damn!) so I got non-pariels instead. Then we went on the the Ocean building and then the girls played in this man-made river thing they had running through the sidewalks in front of the aquarium. They were soaked by the time we left. We finally got home at 6:30pm. Judy fed them dinner and I put the middle two to bed, both under protest. I was able to talk to Kale online, but the kids didn't get to say happy father's day as he ran out of minutes on his phone card, hasn't bought a new one, or hasn't told me how I can call him. I also wasn't able to talk to my dad as my parents are still in Paris until tomorrow. I sent both of them (Kale and dad) messages on MSN, but it's not the same. I know we already celebrated with my dad last week, but it's still not the same. Hopefully Kale will get his cards tomorrow.
Yesterday we went to the Flea Market but didn't stay very long, that's where we got the white trash playpen for $2. It was too hard to push Delilah on the gravel in an umbrella stroller and I didn't bring my big stroller. Judy has one but she bought it at a thrift shop in FL when Lilly was a baby and it looked about 10yrs old then. I hate using it, it's very trashy and I have a hard time with wondering what others are thinking about me when I am out. I don't want to look trashy. It's the same thing I felt when my mil used to call Lilly Henrietta Gertrude in public, it embarrassed me and I would say to her "Don't call her that, people will think that's what I named her!" She gets a kick out of that. After the market we had lunch here and hung out. After awhile Delilah wouldn't nap so Judy and I took her for a walk, just under 2miles up and down hill. I was tired afterwards and Delilah slept most of the way. Delilah finally slept normal last night, only waking up once for a bottle instead of the 3-5times she has been waking up.
Other than that I am missing Kale and ready to be home. Hope everyone had a good day with the father's in their lives.
After we arrived, parked, figured out the pay booth for the parking lot (my fil is not very good with technology so I had to figure it out for him), and bought our tickets it was 11am. We wandered around the Rivers portion of the Aquarium (it has two separate buildings) then had lunch at TGI Fridays. After lunch we went to a candy shop and a fudge shop but the fudge shop was all out of chocolate peanut butter fudge (damn!) so I got non-pariels instead. Then we went on the the Ocean building and then the girls played in this man-made river thing they had running through the sidewalks in front of the aquarium. They were soaked by the time we left. We finally got home at 6:30pm. Judy fed them dinner and I put the middle two to bed, both under protest. I was able to talk to Kale online, but the kids didn't get to say happy father's day as he ran out of minutes on his phone card, hasn't bought a new one, or hasn't told me how I can call him. I also wasn't able to talk to my dad as my parents are still in Paris until tomorrow. I sent both of them (Kale and dad) messages on MSN, but it's not the same. I know we already celebrated with my dad last week, but it's still not the same. Hopefully Kale will get his cards tomorrow.
Yesterday we went to the Flea Market but didn't stay very long, that's where we got the white trash playpen for $2. It was too hard to push Delilah on the gravel in an umbrella stroller and I didn't bring my big stroller. Judy has one but she bought it at a thrift shop in FL when Lilly was a baby and it looked about 10yrs old then. I hate using it, it's very trashy and I have a hard time with wondering what others are thinking about me when I am out. I don't want to look trashy. It's the same thing I felt when my mil used to call Lilly Henrietta Gertrude in public, it embarrassed me and I would say to her "Don't call her that, people will think that's what I named her!" She gets a kick out of that. After the market we had lunch here and hung out. After awhile Delilah wouldn't nap so Judy and I took her for a walk, just under 2miles up and down hill. I was tired afterwards and Delilah slept most of the way. Delilah finally slept normal last night, only waking up once for a bottle instead of the 3-5times she has been waking up.
Other than that I am missing Kale and ready to be home. Hope everyone had a good day with the father's in their lives.
Saturday, June 14
My poor baby...
She had a couple run ins with the hardwood floor.
Her Grammie decided "When in TN..."
So she bought this blow up pool and tried to use it as a white trash playpen. As you can see it didn't work. But it kept her out of the dog fur for 30mins. I vacuumed that rug and after she escaped she was covered in dog fur immediately, I hate Kirby vacuums. And hers is ancient and broken URGH! K suggested I buy the Dyson I want while I am here and "test it out". If only Kale's extra duty pay had already kicked in...Sunday, May 25
Perils of Having So Many Kids
One thing that makes me feel bad having this many kids is not being able to do as much with our older girls. For example(s) I was taking my parents and Lele to the airport and on the way my mom mentioned how she is going to start taking Lilly and Aidan rollerskating once a week this summer. Fine, great, wonderful, they will love it. She had taken them to the school skating party on Thursday and apparently Lilly's friends skated circles around her. Not surprising, she has only been a handful of times. Here's were the guilt comes in, I like to skate, it would probably be good exercise for me, but because we can't do it as an entire family we just don't do it. I feel bad, I was a good skater by her age it's something I feel "normal" children should be doing. I guess I only think it's normal because I did it as a child.
Then she says my dad is going to teach Lilly to ride her bike this summer. This one is Kale's fault. He started to teacher her last year, tried for three days, and quit. I guess I should not have expected much from someone who was 10 before they learned how to ride a two wheeler. I still feel guilty because I was riding a two wheeled bike at 5, "normal" children should be able to ride one before 3rd grade at least! I am glad my dad is going to teach her and maybe he will teach Aidan while he is at it. She should have really good balance from horseback riding. I guess really I feel more embarrassment than guilt, because I should have tried myself to teach them. Hopefully we don't move before my dad has a chance to teach all four of them. I guess this one doesn't have much to do with the amount of children we have, my husband is just to lazy to teach them and I am too self conscious.
One of my other big issues is my inexplicable fear of failure. I have ALWAYS been afraid to fail. If I am not good at something the first or second time I try it, I will quit and never do it again. This is one of the reasons college scares me so much. I mean what if I am not as smart as I think I am? High school was easy, but college will not be, I just know it. I know a lot of my issues are tied to being the oldest child, more is usually expected from the first. The first usually tries harder to please the parents and in my family, it is very true. My brother is so laid back and happy go lucky. Me? I have never been classified as laid back and I am only happy go lucky when I am shitfaced. It has subsided a little since I have become an adult, I think. I still try very hard to please my parents, with the exception of finishing college. I probably ask for my parents opinions on things that really are none of their business, a little too much. I think I am getting better as I get older, at least I hope I am.
Then she says my dad is going to teach Lilly to ride her bike this summer. This one is Kale's fault. He started to teacher her last year, tried for three days, and quit. I guess I should not have expected much from someone who was 10 before they learned how to ride a two wheeler. I still feel guilty because I was riding a two wheeled bike at 5, "normal" children should be able to ride one before 3rd grade at least! I am glad my dad is going to teach her and maybe he will teach Aidan while he is at it. She should have really good balance from horseback riding. I guess really I feel more embarrassment than guilt, because I should have tried myself to teach them. Hopefully we don't move before my dad has a chance to teach all four of them. I guess this one doesn't have much to do with the amount of children we have, my husband is just to lazy to teach them and I am too self conscious.
One of my other big issues is my inexplicable fear of failure. I have ALWAYS been afraid to fail. If I am not good at something the first or second time I try it, I will quit and never do it again. This is one of the reasons college scares me so much. I mean what if I am not as smart as I think I am? High school was easy, but college will not be, I just know it. I know a lot of my issues are tied to being the oldest child, more is usually expected from the first. The first usually tries harder to please the parents and in my family, it is very true. My brother is so laid back and happy go lucky. Me? I have never been classified as laid back and I am only happy go lucky when I am shitfaced. It has subsided a little since I have become an adult, I think. I still try very hard to please my parents, with the exception of finishing college. I probably ask for my parents opinions on things that really are none of their business, a little too much. I think I am getting better as I get older, at least I hope I am.
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