The Rest of the Awful Story...

I know I said I would post this tomorrow, but some people are like me and don't like to wait.
If you haven't read the first half of the story, go down and read it first or you will be confused.


So Monday I am checking Kale's email, this time he asked me to do it. He doesn't have internet at his house and he can't check his personal email on the work computer. So I check it and there is this email about "So and so commented on your picture on Redlightcenter.com". So I am naturally curious so I go to the site, type in Kale's gmail address in the forgotten password space, retrieve it and sign in. I am immediately HORRIFIED BEYOND BELIEF! The first thing I see is a picture of Kale and I together. This picture:




His mom took it when they came to visit him the summer we began dating. It's Kale's favorite picture of the two of us.


The website I find is kind of like a myspace or facebook page, but it's designed for people seeking sexual "release" I guess you would call it. Basically you can be single or a couple seeking other singles or couples to do things with. Or it can just be an online, look at each others nasty pictures and videos. The entire page had been set up as if Kale had done it himself. I know now he didn't, but at the time....not so much.


Again I freak out, worse than the day before, because not only did it sound as if Kale had written the page himself (I will tell you why later) but there were also pictures. Pictures of male genitalia. One of the pictures was actually my husbands, but he took it to send to me (don't know why) and he never did. The other two pictures of genitalia I could tell weren't his which is good, because one of them was completely nasty. I will not describe it for you, but it was dirty, filthy, and it haunts my dreams. That right there was Kale's only saving grace.


He called me about 25 agonizing minutes after I found this page. I had gone from screeching crying, to hyperventilating, to collapsing on the floor in grief. I managed to keep it together when Sophia came downstairs to find out what was wrong and I was lucky Delilah was sleeping. Anyhow, he calls and I am screaming things at him like you would not believe. He is swearing up and down that it wasn't him. All the same things as the time before. He swears on the lives of our children and I feel a little, not much, but a little better. He tells me he and the 1SG are going to go talk to the guy again and they will find out what is going on for me. I tell him I can't believe him, I need to hear it from the 1SG (his boss) when they get back. Otherwise I knew I would always have doubts.


After about another hour of agonizing wait, during which I can't eat and have diarrhea (TMI I know, but at this point I have shared everything else). He calls and puts the 1SG on. He lets me know the guy confessed and is writing a swore statement about all the things he did and why he did them. The guy said he used Kale's pictures because he didn't want his wife to be able to find out he did this. That everyone on the site requires pictures and so he needed some face shots that weren't his own. I felt so much better after talking to 1SG.


Kale gets on the phone and he lets me know he is pressing charges for identity theft. The guy had taken information about us from Kale's Facebook page, what Kale likes, what I like off my page, he found the picture of Kale's penis and used it. He used Kale's webcam to take pictures of his own penis. He found a dirty letter Kale had written for me and used that on there. Just a complete violation of our privacy.


Like K said, Kale was stupid for leaving his passwords unprotected and letting this guy have so much freedom using his computer. But like I told her, I prefer stupid to cheater, I already knew he was stupid. I can live with stupid. Trust me, stuff like this ONLY happens to Kale. He has the worst luck with things obscure and unusual.


Unfortunately Kale can't get him for identity theft because the guy didn't accrue any debt. BUT the commander is freaking pissed (he's the big boss) and is throwing the book at him. Like I said, they are going for demotion and loss of mid-month pay for 6mths.

It still took me a few days to really get over this. I was angry Kale had left such personal stuff out there for anyone to find. I reminded him that if I had actually sent him the nude photos he requested (I never would have) then those would have been plastered all over that smutty site. That really got to him, he was never as upset as when I told him that. He is very protective of me and it would have killed him to have that all over the internet. It really irritated me that his "business" was on there too and that people commented on it and everything. But in the grand scheme of everything having that to deal with is better than having to deal with a husband who is surfing swinger sites.

He is extremely lucky that he was so far away from me when this happened. If he had been here I would have hunted him down and slapped the shit out of him before he even knew what I was angry about. I have a horrible temper, it's hard to get me angry, but look out when I am.

So, everything is back to "normal" at least as normal as it's going to get. I never worried about him being so far away until all of this happened. Even though my heart knows he wouldn't ever do anything my brain is suspicious. I told him he is going to have to reassure me, every day, multiple times a day until I get over this completely.

The guy has to meet with the Commander and 1SG tonight. His ass is fried. It actually kind of worries me that maybe he is one of those freaks who wants to be you, you know take over your life. I hope it really only was that he didn't want his wife to know he was surfing such sites, but damn that's a long way to go to "get off".

So there is my long, horrifying, detailed (probably more details than most of you wanted), ordeal that has preoccupied my last 7 days. And that is why I was MIA.

A Very Bad Week...

I am sorry I went MIA, but I have been dealing with a lot of BS this week. I can finally tell this story because it's 100% OVER. The person who caused this mess is in deep trouble. Article 15 if you know military terms, if not it means he is being demoted and losing half his pay for 6mths.

Why does he deserve such? Because he just about ruined my marriage, could have done worse if I am not the person I am, or if Kale had not been able to get to the bottom of things super quickly.

It started last Friday, I had asked Kale for all of his passwords to all of his emails and such so if I felt like checking them I could. He knows all of mine so we have nothing to hide, and he gave them to me willingly. Plus something happened to someone I know recently crushing my reality about my "perfect family life" being able to go on as "perfect" forever. Let's just say it gave me pause.

Well, I checked his Yahoo, nothing interesting there just normal family stuff. Then I check his Gmail, his sister and his friend Dave are the only ones who usually email him there. I start looking through and I come upon two emails that had been sent out to someone named J.D. and right away I became sick. I opened them and they were from "Kale" to this JD person thanking her for the naked pictures and asking her if she would like anything in return. You can imagine my response.

I began hyperventilating and scrambling to call Kale. A few minutes later he gets online at the library (he had told me he would after work so we could talk). I immediately begin attacking him with questions and he immediately begins denying all allegations. He begs me to believe him, but there in front of me I have the "proof". I show him the emails, he starts to freak out, and says he is going home and calling me right then. I wait for 15 agonizing minutes and he finally calls.

Before I go on with that conversation I will tell you what he did on his way to his house. On his way to his house he used his cell to call the two guys he was allowing to use his computer when he lived in the apartment (he had recently moved into a house). He left them a message saying they had better explain what the bleep they were doing on his email. You see, Kale is a very trusting man he had all of his email passwords saved in his computer and was allowing these two guys full access, unsupervised, to use his laptop. Stupid I know.

He calls me and I am bawling, he begins to break down and cry and swears up and down it wasn't him. He wouldn't do this to me, he loves me, he loves our kids, he just doesn't need anyone else, and for me to please believe him. It's hard for me. He explains how he let these two guys use his computer and just then his cell rings. I can here him yelling at the first guy, interrogating him, he knows nothing. The second guy gets on and I hear a lot of Kale screaming at the guy about how stupid it was he used Kale's email and how I had found it and was so upset. He screams at the guy that he will talk to him later.

He gets back on the phone and explains what happened to me. Apparently this guy, instead of making a fake email, used Kale's to send and receive pictures of some girl he was chatting with online. He said that he didn't want his wife to find out. He thought he had deleted everything. We now know there is more to it than just this, but I will get to it. So Kale is pissed and I am relieved. We talk for quite awhile and by the end of our conversation I am back to normal, feeling better, he is still pissed and is threatening to kick the guy's ass. I try and calm him down, tell him it's not worth jeopardizing his career over it.

He calls me later that night to tell me how PT went. He had his 1SG go with him to keep him in check. He was mad that the guy thought it was no big deal. Kale lunged at him and 1SG had to grab him and hold him back. The guy didn't even show the slightest bit of remorse, until Kale told him how I was hyperventilating and crying, then he looked at the ground the rest of the talk. After Kale left 1SG stayed behind to talk to the guy, even threatened to tell his wife.

So then my weekend went on peacefully. Monday came and my world was shattered once again, at the hands of this guy, and this time it was worse.

I will finish tomorrow.... Just so you know everything is alright with me and my marriage. And that I have 100% proof that my husband did not do the things I thought he did. If I didn't have the proof I would still be questioning him, as maybe some of you might.

Sometimes I just don't know what to say to him anymore...

My husband is naive. I? Am so not. I am not because my dad made sure I was not. My mom? Was and still can be very gullible. That drove/drives my dad nuts, so I think he made sure I was not the same way. He should have worked on my brother a little more, he is not nearly as bad as my mom but he can still be gullible at times.

The point of all of that is this: Kale told me this morning that he had dropped his keys and wallet under the deck at his apartment, there is a locked fence around the deck. He went to the maintenance guy, who apparently saw him coming a mile away, and asked him to unlock the gate. The maintenance guy told him it would cost him $20 and he could only take cash, no checks. Kale went to the ATM with the only card not in his wallet, the one from our joint account. He took the $20 out and gave it to the guy, then and only then after observing the guy with him acting nervously, did he even question this transaction. BUT he still gave the guy the money, only telling him he would be speaking to his supervisor, to which the guy shrugged and mumble something in his native tongue.

I? Would have called everyone on the base until I found out if this really is a policy or if I was being taken advantage of. I? Would have looked the guy straight in the eye and said "F*ck off and do your JOB" I am not so nice when I suspect I am trying to be taken advantage of. Kale has a one track mind, get my stuff, get my stuff, get my stuff. Now his mind is saying, I was screwed, I was screwed, I was screwed and Get my money back, Get my money back, Get my money back. Who? Who is going to give him his money back? That guy? Hell no! Housing? Yeah right, they will call him naive and tell him it sucks to be you.

In the interest of staying married I didn't tell him what I really thought about this whole mess. I sugar coated it to the best of my abilities. Which took a lot of freaking restraint on my part. I cannot stand stupidity, I have absolutely NO patience for it and I doubt I ever will.

So now that my day is ruined, I hope everyone else's is much better.

Just a Pretty Picture

How lucky am I? I get to look into those big, beautiful, blue eyes every single day!

Sometimes I still feel a great loss over my miscarriage, but when I look at her I can say I am happy with my life. I can't go as far as to say I am glad it happened, but I can say if it hadn't happened I would have never have known what I was missing.

Her hair is very curly right now because of the humidity. The weather has been wonderful lately, with the exception of a few storms. Kale even forgot to roll up a window in the van last night and the passenger seat was very wet this morning. GRR! The rain cleared up and we were able to open it up and let it dry.

We didn't do anything to special for Memorial Day. Lilly had some stuff to do for Girl Scouts that was rained out, at least for us. Jason, Rosy, and Alan arrived home safely from Mexico after driving all night long at about 11am. I went and picked Alan up and kept him all afternoon so they could sleep. They were very appreciative and we had fun playing with him. He got his first tooth on the drive from Mexico, I was actually the first one to spot it.

Kale and the older girls spent the day cleaning out the playroom, tomorrow we will start going through the bags of toys to decide what goes to Goodwill and what stays. Most of it is going.

In other random news I lost 4 pounds last week, YEI for me! We have been walking about every other day, so that helps. My new walking shoes gave me a nice fluid filled blister though. My socks were too low on that foot, so it's no fault of the shoe.

My parents and Lele are in PA, it was their 30th high school reunion. I am a little sad I couldn't go, LIES! I am a lot sad. My grandpa is still not doing well. He has had many surgeries and so far they can't "fix" the problem with his kidneys, so he will have more. His spirits are low and so are my grandmas.

This is the last week of school and it is going to be a busy and short one.

Hope everyone had a good weekend.

Perils of Having So Many Kids

One thing that makes me feel bad having this many kids is not being able to do as much with our older girls. For example(s) I was taking my parents and Lele to the airport and on the way my mom mentioned how she is going to start taking Lilly and Aidan rollerskating once a week this summer. Fine, great, wonderful, they will love it. She had taken them to the school skating party on Thursday and apparently Lilly's friends skated circles around her. Not surprising, she has only been a handful of times. Here's were the guilt comes in, I like to skate, it would probably be good exercise for me, but because we can't do it as an entire family we just don't do it. I feel bad, I was a good skater by her age it's something I feel "normal" children should be doing. I guess I only think it's normal because I did it as a child.

Then she says my dad is going to teach Lilly to ride her bike this summer. This one is Kale's fault. He started to teacher her last year, tried for three days, and quit. I guess I should not have expected much from someone who was 10 before they learned how to ride a two wheeler. I still feel guilty because I was riding a two wheeled bike at 5, "normal" children should be able to ride one before 3rd grade at least! I am glad my dad is going to teach her and maybe he will teach Aidan while he is at it. She should have really good balance from horseback riding. I guess really I feel more embarrassment than guilt, because I should have tried myself to teach them. Hopefully we don't move before my dad has a chance to teach all four of them. I guess this one doesn't have much to do with the amount of children we have, my husband is just to lazy to teach them and I am too self conscious.

One of my other big issues is my inexplicable fear of failure. I have ALWAYS been afraid to fail. If I am not good at something the first or second time I try it, I will quit and never do it again. This is one of the reasons college scares me so much. I mean what if I am not as smart as I think I am? High school was easy, but college will not be, I just know it. I know a lot of my issues are tied to being the oldest child, more is usually expected from the first. The first usually tries harder to please the parents and in my family, it is very true. My brother is so laid back and happy go lucky. Me? I have never been classified as laid back and I am only happy go lucky when I am shitfaced. It has subsided a little since I have become an adult, I think. I still try very hard to please my parents, with the exception of finishing college. I probably ask for my parents opinions on things that really are none of their business, a little too much. I think I am getting better as I get older, at least I hope I am.

Parties, Cleaning, and Grocery Shopping

Spending all day at my mom's. Shopping with her and helping her get ready for the party. I shouldn't be cleaning at her house since mine needs it badly. I did spend this morning cleaning mine a little. I am avoiding my grumpy husband and cranky kids, bad I know. But I only have a few weeks left of freedom from the children and I am taking every opportunity presented to me. It's just us women and Green hanging out here at my mom's.

Later on the kids will be here and all the party guests, it's quiet...for now.

Womanhood

I am in a horribly bad mood. I went to bed last night at 9:30, very unusual for me. Delilah has taken to getting up at the butt crack of dawn. I am not fond, as I have said before, of getting up before 7am. I was feeding her her morning bottle and Kale forgot to turn off his alarm when he went to shower. URGH! Oh, I am also have pms and I am getting a cold, so you can see what kind of mood I am in. I go in to take a shower and he has used almost all the hot water, the man has no hair on his head it kills me that it takes him longer to shower than it does for me. I know he shaves his face in the shower, but I can shave my legs ankle to ankle and my pits and still take a shorter shower. Plus he came in to hang up his towel and I had hung my bra and underwear on the towel bar. Now he never uses this towel bar, he always has hung his towel on the back of the door. Yeah instead he moves my underthings on top of the toilet (gross) and hangs his towel. At that point I didn't see him do it, I was already in the shower with my glasses off. I get out and notice them sitting there, gross! He was not happy when I pointed this out to him, apparently I have been short with him all morning. Cry me a river.

To better my mood I am going shopping with Rosy today, but I have to be back by 2pm for Aidan's teacher's retirement party. It's a surprise the room mother's and children came up with. Her husband is even coming. It will be nice. I have known her teacher since I was a child, her son and my bro were best friends from grade school on up. Now my bro works with her husband. She has been a really great teacher for Aidan, she can handle her well. Plus she loves Aidan, who doesn't. Aidan really is lucky she is cute and charming, otherwise people wouldn't tolerate her short comings very well.

Did I ever tell you how much I HATE ants?!

It's been a freaking busy ass weekend. Friday morning I had to go Target to find a new swimsuit, flip flops, and goggles for Lilly for her trip to Great Wolf Lodge that afternoon. And then I stopped at Babies R Us to buy a high chair for Delilah, I had a 15% off coupon. Friday afternoon we dropped Lilly off at the commissary so she could go with her Girl Scout Troop to GWL for the night. Then we went out shopping (Kale, Aidan, Sophia, Delilah, and I) and met up with Jason, Rosy, and Alan at the mall. Didn't get much, had to return a shirt I had bought for Alan for the picture, but had fun people watching. Then we went to Babies R Us so I could return yet another shirt I had bought for Alan that was not the right color for the picture. Then they left to go home, we went out to dinner at Applebee's, and then to Target to return a few things. I had bought two different size swimsuits for Lilly to try on, I wasn't sure which would fit, so I had return the other and the soccer socks with shin guards built in that didn't fit her. After Target it was late and time to get kids to bed, after 10pm unusual for my kids to even be out that late.

Saturday we tried to sleep in, well I slept in anyways. Kale didn't, Delilah wanted up at 7:45am. Sophia and Aidan both slept in until 9am, pretty good for them. I was able to shower myself, Aidan, and Sophia, get us all dressed, and get the diaper bag ready in the amount of time Kale was in the bathroom "reading". This is my daily complaint about him. I HATE how long he takes in the bathroom "reading". Well anyways, then I took the three girls with me, we went to the commissary to pick up sandwich fixings, and then headed to my mom's for lunch. Kale was moving Lilly's bed into Aidan's room and all of their toys into Lilly's room. I am so sick of the mess both of their rooms are I decided they will sleep in the big room and play in the small room. No toys will be allowed in the room they sleep in, it will be pretty. After he picked Lilly up at 4, he took Aidan and Delilah to a birthday party and I took Lilly and Sophia to a BBQ with family friends along with my parents, the teens, and Jason's family. We were there for a couple of hours then met back up with Kale at my parents house were we watched a movie together, and then Kale, Delilah, and I went home.

This morning we were able to sleep until 9:30am, but then had to jump up and get ready quickly. I called my mom to find out if the girls needed clothes and she informed me that Lilly was quite grumpy and crying at the drop of a hat, very out of character. But she had spent the last two nights staying up late so I knew it was coming. Kale, Delilah, and I got ready and headed over to my parents house. He took Lilly and Aidan home and my mom, the teens, Rosy, Sophia, and I went to Independence Center to get Sophia's ears pierced. We had to get it done in Missouri because my mom and Nais wanted cartilage pierced and in Kansas it's considered a body piercing which can only be done at a tattoo parlor. I wasn't about to take Sophia to a tattoo parlor for an ear piercing so we drove the 45mins to Independence, Mo.

On the way there we stopped at Kaufman Stadium where the Royals play baseball. My mom had vouchers she needed to exchange for tickets. This was a royal pain in this ass since there was a home game today. We had to pay the parking fee, tell everyone in a yellow vest that we were just going to the ticket counter and didn't want to park, wait in line for the tickets, and then get our money back for parking. Apparently on game days you have to pay to park even if you aren't, but with a receipt showing you just wanted to buy tickets you can get your money back.

The first thing we did at the mall was eat, well actually we peed first then ate. Then we went to get the ear piercing out of the way. There are pictures below. Sophia was very good, she didn't cry until I cleaned her ears after they had already been pierced. Then I popped her paci in and she was good to go. I know, I know, it's time for paci to go. Then mom had hers done, then Nais who was hilarious when she had hers done, and finally Lele. I would have done mine too, but I already have four holes on each lobe and two cartilage piercings I just don't wear earrings in them anymore.

After we shopped for a while, we headed home. Green was cooking dinner for everyone, he had some good news to share. The only thing he knows how to make is 5 cup chicken, I personally can't get past the vinegar smell to even try it. Rosy tried it for the first time tonight and said she liked it. She is just about as picky as I am. Green's good news was that the company he has been working part time for while going to college is giving him a verbal agreement to hire him when he graduates in Dec. This is good because they will sponsor him for his green card. This is especially good news for Kale, before Green joined our family he was the family doofus and now Green is taking the brunt of my dad's teasing. I keep telling Kale that my dad teases everyone, it's his way of showing affection. After dinner we all went to Dairy Queen for dessert, then home to put the kiddos to bed. All of them went straight to bed except Delilah who just finally gave up 15mins ago. Kale had to go into work at 9 and hopefully will be home soon. I am exhausted, I think I will stay home tomorrow and maybe Tuesday too.

Oh and the title of this post is because I freaking hate ants. I came home to a plate in the sink being COVERED with them on Saturday night. We have had an ant problem every spring and summer since we moved in and they do nothing about it. I have tried several times to get rid of them myself with no luck. And since I have 4 children, no crumbs is not an option. I can look on the brighter side, I hate roaches more and I don't have those. And I am pretty sure mice would freak me out more than ants too, but I don't have those either. So until I get one of those, I will be bitching about ants.

How was everyone elses weekend?

Oh yeah and BTW, it freaking snowed both Saturday and Sunday. Kansas weather sucks ass!

Florida: Part One

It has been an exhausting two weeks. I got back from PA at 4am on Saturday morning and left again Sunday late morning. We arrived at my in laws around 7:30pm. I am trying not to bitch about this but it truly drives me nuts when my MIL does things like this to me, just a warning before I start to bitch. We stopped in town to get Subway on our way to the house, I get there and we start eating and Sophia is begging to be fed. Apparently she had yet to be fed AT 7 freaking 30, mind you her bedtime is normally between 6-7pm. I knew she would be up until I arrived but she should have been fed.

Side story: When we pulled up, I got out, Sophia came out the door, running full force, crying, laughing, saying "MOMMY!" and my husband had the nerve to scoop her up before she could get to me. She wiggled away from him and ran into my arms. My mom asked if it made me cry and she was surprised to find that it didn't.

So we are eating and I had to let the older girls share their dinner with Sophia. I go to bed relatively early, I was tired and we had a long drive the next day. My dumb ass husband stayed up way too late, knowing he would be doing the majority of the driving while I tended to the children. We needed to leave by 8-9am to be there when Cecy (former exchange student, also my sil Rosy's cousin) got off the plane in Orlando. We leave just after 9am, Grr. It ends up just perfect, Kale drops me off at baggage claim, leaves to take the girls to the house where we are staying, I arrive just in time to intercept Cecy in route to baggage claim, she and I have dinner at Chili's (it sucked) while we waited for my mom to arrive, we get my mom, get the rental, and head out a little over an hour later we are at the house where we are staying. I love TomTom, just thought I'd share.

Side Story: I wanted to put on some cooler clothing when we arrived at the airport so my husband parked the van, I changed my clothes, and before he dropped me off he needed to pee. So he gets an empty pepsi bottle and pees in it, somehow managing to get it all over his hands. Not the brightest crayon in the box. Kale had to pee on our way home and my brother asked why he didn't just pee in a bottle. I said "If he can't pee in a bottle while standing still what makes you think he could do it while riding in a moving vehicle?"

The place we stayed was beautiful. Four bedrooms, three bathrooms, full kitchen, dining room, living room, deck, lake front, and FREE!!! Well, we had to pay the cleaning team $85. Kale's former neighbors (he grew up in Orlando) offered us their rental property to stay in while we were there, SCORE! The are very well off, they have three houses. Their company makes jewelry for Disney, millionaires. Kale and I took the master bedroom with Delilah in the pack n play. The three older girls took the bedroom with two twin beds w/ Sophia sleeping on her blow up sleeping bag air mattress. Cecy and Min (another exchange student from last year, I have a lot to say about her) took the other bedroom on the main floor with the full bed. My mom took the second master suite on the lower level (it was a split level house). They actually told us not to let the kids swim in the lake because of gators, like HELLO Kale grew up in a house on a lake in Florida, think he already knows that.

Since this post is already very long I will pick up with day 2 tomorrow.

Defining Moments in Life

One of these moments happened to Kale and I early into our marriage. Actually less than three months into our marriage this all started to unfold and it wasn't resolved for many months. It involved Kale, myself, and this one ex-girlfriend of his. I knew she had been his ex for years and that they only briefly dated early on in High School and it didn't bother me, at first.

In April of 1999 we headed down to Florida during my spring break. At the time I was working full time as a paraprofessional in an Autistic classroom and going to college full time at night. We were going down to Florida for his parents to throw us a belated wedding shower since they weren't able to attend our small church ceremony. (They did attend our big church ceremony that summer.) This was where I first meet all of my husbands friends and family. A bit overwhelming for someone as shy and reserved as I am.

At the big party I am surrounded by his family and friends, but I am lucky enough to have my best friend from High School there with me. She had moved to Jacksonville just after graduation and we picked her up on our way to Orlando. She was my savior, the only reason I didn't go crazy after this party. The party ended and Kale invites his friends back to his parents to hang out, fine with me. We get to the house and his ex (we'll call her Big B) hijacks him almost as soon as we get there. Big B has MY husband out in her car alone for over an hour. I would have gone completely nuts if A) I wasn't able to see them from the front window, which I could, B) Lesley hadn't been there to take my mind off what was going on, and C) I didn't want to look like a lunatic in front of his family. After he finally comes in this is what he tells me, "Big B felt like you were purposely ignoring her the entire evening." So I say "Well I wasn't, I just in a whole room of 75-100 people I didn't know, all of them wanting to meet and talk to me. So sorry she felt ignored." Him "Well could you go make an effort with her now?" Me "You have got to be f*ing kidding me, NO!" And I go back to my friends and he goes back to his buddies, she leaves and it all blows over. Oh and BTW I was at this time 5mths pregnant.

So we go home, Lilly is born and Big B sends a present. It was a really nice present, from Gap. I really liked it but felt conflicted about Lilly wearing it. In the end she wore it only a few times, then Kale ruined it when he washed something red in warm water with the colored clothes. Life goes on normal and wonderful, until Christmas when we go back to Florida.

Things start out great and wonderful until Big B wants us to come over to her place for dinner. I felt incredibly uncomfortable about this A) I didn't know them very well and there were two couples going to be there besides us, B) I was worried about being left out of all the conversation and in general worried everyone would leave me alone in a room, C) I learned something disturbing about why Big B wasn't thrilled with his choice to marry me. He apparently had been confiding in her during our rough patch when we were dating. I have vaguely told the story about the rough patch here. Basically it was at a time where I was very hormonal, I was pregnant but didn't know it, under tons of stress with my new job, and going to school full time. Everything worked out fine and here we are nine years later still together.

Anyways, so I find out he'd been confiding in her during our rough patch and she hasn't forgiven me for being a bitch. This was over a year after it had happened and we now were married with a child, I felt she should get over it. I was not pleased to learn she had been his confidant and wondered why he didn't confide in a guy friend instead. So we are both mad and we are both stubborn as all hell, but I am his wife and he loves me so I have a leg up on her. I agree to have dinner with her and her boyfriend, but only if we go to a neutral location, a restaurant. She refuses to have dinner with us if it is not on her terms and so I say fine whatever. I also, at first, agree to let Kale take Lilly to meet her. But I quickly change my mind after I learned all the venom she had been spewing about me to his friends and family. Things like "He needs to leave her, she's a bitch." and "I feel so sorry for their baby to have such an awful mom." Yeah, tell me that wouldn't piss you off just a little bit. So I tell him (bawling the whole time) that it hurts me greatly to think SHE would ever be touching my baby. Or that my baby would ever smile at HER.

So I refuse to let him take Lilly and say if he wants to go that is his choice. Not to long after that I change my mind again. I put it all out there right then and there, I hated to do it and it scared me to death to do it. I just knew I couldn't go on living this way year after year, dealing with this same shit every time we came to Florida. So I gave him an ultimatum, it was us or her. He choose us and I am glad he did. His mother is still upset that he never speaks to Big B anymore. And she still brings her up to us almost once a year, I resented it for a long time. Then I found out Kale had never explained to his mother why we cut her out of our lives. The horrible things she said about me.

After Christmas she did make one last attempt to speak to Kale. She sent him an e-mail to our joint account and I received it first. Since it had been almost a year after the Christmas episode I decided to extend an olive branch (if you don't know me, for me this is HUGE, I hold grudges forever) and I e-mailed her gently explaining why I had done what I had done and that if she was willing to accept her part in the whole thing I would make an effort with her. She went off on me in an e-mail to Kale. She told him he should divorce me and take my daughter away from me. That I was obviously an unfit mother who didn't deserve him or Lilly. I will tell you, he was there when I wrote the e-mail to her and he agreed I was being very polite. When he read her e-mail to me, he flipped out, and sent her a scathing e-mail telling her to f*off and leave us alone forever. Telling her that I am a wonderful mother and wife and that she was a horrible friend.

Well after all of that, she has inserted herself back into our lives. Very innocently. She saw on the Edgewater High School bulletin board a post Kale made about not making it to the 10yr reunion (last Sept '07) because Delilah was due to be born. Well she saw the post and e-mailed him. She is now married, has two kids, and feels "very sorry" for the way she treated me all those years ago. I don't care anymore, I don't worry about her anymore. I am secure in my marriage and I know nothing will ever come of her little e-mails to Kale. I am not sure if she really knows what she did or how awful she was to us, but I don't care about her anymore. I am just hoping that my husband knows better than to approach me about "getting together" with Big B and her family while we are in Florida this month.

Dear....

Dear Daisy Troop Leader,


Thank you for bringing to Kale's attention the fact that Aidan "lifted" the M&M topper of a tube of Easter M&M's. While I appreciate you letting him know this I do not appreciate you butting your nose in any further. Pointing out to MY child that "it's not a very Girl Scout thing to do" is not your place. Kindly keep your nose out of our family business in the future.


Thanks,
Miffed Mommy

PS: Not a big fan of people disciplining my kids.

_________________________________________
Dear Husband,


Please pay better attention to what your child is doing while waiting on line in the commissary. If you do so it will help us not to be embarrassed in the future. Plus if you had seen her steal the topper you could have scolded her right there and made her take it back. Embarrassing her greatly and hopefully deterring her from ever doing it again. It worked for Lilly, it should work for her.

Thanks,
Pissy Wife


________________________________________

Dear Aidan,


I know it's not the first time you have embarrassed us and certainly not the last. But please refrain from publicly embarrassing us in the future and we will extend the same courtesy to you. You will enjoy such courtesy as a teenager.

Love,
Your Exhausted Mommy

PS: When you are sent home sick from school, please have the decency to ACT sick.
________________________________________________

Dear Delilah,

Please don't wait until five minutes after daddy leaves to fill your pants. And BTW gross, you kind of smell bad too.

Love,
Mommy
_______________________________________________
Dear Sophia,

You are two and you are sick, NAPS ARE NOT OPTIONAL. Go to sleep.

Love,
Your Exhausted Mommy
______________________________________________

Dear MIL,

Please quit bitching to me about how tired, sick, and cold you are. I really don't care. I am one of the most non sympathetic people on Earth. Please get over yourself, you aren't that sick, you haven't even lost your voice and you don't cough at all.

Love,
Your Sick and Tired Also, but I don't Bitch about it to anyone DIL

Why I Stopped Folding HIS Clothes

When we lived in MA and were in Recruiting Hell, I went on a laundry boycott. I was tired of washing and folding his clothes everyday to have them sit in baskets all over my house waiting to be put away. (I didn't put them away because A) he really doesn't like the way I do it and B) F* That! I have too much to already, why should I have to put a GROWN mans clothes away.) They would sit, pile up, take up basket after basket, until I would flip out. We get into a huge fight and he'd put the damn clothes away. You would think after doing this week after week he'd learn.

So after having this happen for most of our married life, I finally quit. I quit doing his laundry at all, not just the folding part. I kept on doing mine and the kids, folding, washing, and putting away. But his would sit in the laundry room day in and day out. Until finally he got the hint and started to wash his own damn clothes. But this caused another problem. Sure he would WASH his clothes, but they would sit in the machine for days, stinking of mildew and then of course I couldn't do my laundry. So I finally relented and now I wash his clothes, but I don't fold or put them away. Why waste the time folding them, they are just going to sit in a basket anyways. I gave up and it still bugs me, but not to the point where I could kill him for it.

P.S. His mom once asked me why I didn't just put them away like she used to do when he would let them pile up. I was like AGH! You are the freaking problem lady, you coddled him and now I am paying for your parenting mistakes.

Pity Me

It's 3:30am and I am sitting here with a sick baby, waiting to see if her 102.4 degree temp. goes down. It's been a long time since I have been up with a sick baby, like not since Aidan was a baby. Sophia has never been sick once, barely ever a fever IF ever, (knock on wood) So it has been a good 4-5yrs, I don't miss it. Plus, my stupid husband hasn't called to get Delilahs online tricare account fixed so I can make appointments online for her. So now I have to wait until 7am to try and get a stupid appointment with the doctor.

Also, it's hard to tell if she is stuffy or not. Her condition makes her sound perpetually stuffy.

Aren't I the Girl?

Why is my husband always the last person, in a family of ALL girls, to be ready? I can get myself and four small children ready in the time it takes him to get ready.

Am I alone here?