Dear....

Dear Daisy Troop Leader,


Thank you for bringing to Kale's attention the fact that Aidan "lifted" the M&M topper of a tube of Easter M&M's. While I appreciate you letting him know this I do not appreciate you butting your nose in any further. Pointing out to MY child that "it's not a very Girl Scout thing to do" is not your place. Kindly keep your nose out of our family business in the future.


Thanks,
Miffed Mommy

PS: Not a big fan of people disciplining my kids.

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Dear Husband,


Please pay better attention to what your child is doing while waiting on line in the commissary. If you do so it will help us not to be embarrassed in the future. Plus if you had seen her steal the topper you could have scolded her right there and made her take it back. Embarrassing her greatly and hopefully deterring her from ever doing it again. It worked for Lilly, it should work for her.

Thanks,
Pissy Wife


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Dear Aidan,


I know it's not the first time you have embarrassed us and certainly not the last. But please refrain from publicly embarrassing us in the future and we will extend the same courtesy to you. You will enjoy such courtesy as a teenager.

Love,
Your Exhausted Mommy

PS: When you are sent home sick from school, please have the decency to ACT sick.
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Dear Delilah,

Please don't wait until five minutes after daddy leaves to fill your pants. And BTW gross, you kind of smell bad too.

Love,
Mommy
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Dear Sophia,

You are two and you are sick, NAPS ARE NOT OPTIONAL. Go to sleep.

Love,
Your Exhausted Mommy
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Dear MIL,

Please quit bitching to me about how tired, sick, and cold you are. I really don't care. I am one of the most non sympathetic people on Earth. Please get over yourself, you aren't that sick, you haven't even lost your voice and you don't cough at all.

Love,
Your Sick and Tired Also, but I don't Bitch about it to anyone DIL