12 Days and Counting.....

Very, very soon Kale will be back, the 16th to be exact. He gets in at 11pm that night and I am picking him up myself. Green has volunteered to come over and sit with the sleeping children. The girls don't know exactly when he is arriving, just that it's soon and before Christmas. Lilly will be very excited he will be able to attend her Christmas musical on the 17th.

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Black Friday

As is the tradition for the women in my family we went shopping on Black Friday. Green was kind enough to spend the night on my couch and "take care of" (be the adult in the house just in case) the older three girls. Rosy insisted I leave Delilah with Jason and Alan, I wasn't going to argue. I am just glad for my brother that she went straight back to sleep after I dropped her off at 4:40am. As always I have to be the first one up that morning because I am the driver and I have to pick everyone up. I picked Rosy up, dropped Delilah off, and picked Patience up. It's really not bad, I live 10mins from Rosy, Patience lives across the street from Rosy, and then it's 5mins to my mom's from there.

We went to Walmart first, arriving just before the doors opened. There was a line formed all the way around the outside of the store. We joined at the very end and it took us about 15mins to get inside. It was very cold that morning, only 20 degrees. Rosy was not ready for that, this was her first time getting up at the crack of dawn to join us. She went the years before, but after 8am usually. My mom bought her 50" Plasma TV my dad wanted, Rosy bought a trampoline, Meme picked up some gifts for the girls, Stella bought shampoo and nail polish remover (we teased her about this), Patience bought toys for her grandson Matthew, and I bought pj's and toys for the girls. My mom got right through the line and took the tv home while we shopped and stood in line. Patience and I didn't take too long in our line. We had a nice older lady in front of us and she was not letting a line jumper in our line. It was very funny to watch her tell him no he couldn't "squeeze in". Other than that we didn't see any arguments. After I got through the line I went to keep Rosy company, it took her awhile to get into line since they had to find a flatbed cart for her trampoline, that sucker was heavy. I couldn't even lift one end. It took us and hour to get through her line to pay. Then the worker loaded it in the van and we had to take it to her house or nothing else would fit.

We didn't get out of town (out of walmart) until 7:30am, then we headed to north KC. We spent another hour at Toys R Us. Then Kohl's, Target, lunch at Applebee's, and Old Navy. We were home about 3:30pm. I found Green as I left him, sleeping on my couch. The girls were dressed and had been fed, he woke up long enough to handle that much. It's a good thing Lilly is older and can take care of things. Delilah gave Jason a run for his money, she and Alan like to fight. There was an incident with Alan's poopy diaper and her grabbing it and flinging the poop everywhere. We laughed our butt's off at that one when he called to share. All and all it was a fun day, I wasn't sure I would be able to go this year and I am thankful my family stepped up to the plate to help out.

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The Days Ahead

We have a ton planned for when Kale is here. It's going to be a whirlwind visit, I think our heads will be spinning by then end of the trip.

17th: Trim the Tree, Family Picture (ENTIRE Family, all 14 of us), Lilly's Musical
18th: Delilah and I have doctors appointments at 1pm
19th: My parents are watching the girls and we are going out to dinner ALONE/Jason, Rosy, and Alan leave for Mexico and won't return until the 5th of Jan.
20th: Kale is taking the older three to see Bolt
21st: Kale's b-day dinner (his b-day was 11/22) at Famous Dave's with our extended family
22nd: Painting Sophia's room white again and switching her room and Delilah's
23rd: Kale's parents and Nanny arrive/We will go out alone again
24th: Christmas at my parents with everyone
25th: Christmas of course/plus Kale and his dad are taking the older three to Tale of Despereaux/Judy and I are making dinner/My mom and the teens are coming over for dinner
26th: Probably family pictures with Kale's family (since Judy all of the sudden after 5 years decided she wants to get it done professionally again, AFTER she has said numerous times that regular snapshots are good enough)/My parents and the teens leave for Chicago
27th: His family leaves
28th: Not sure yet
29th: He leaves at 6pm :(

The only positive thing about Jason, Rosy, and Alan being in Mexico for Christmas is that they are letting Kale's family stay at their house. That way we aren't cramped here and they don't have to spend money on a hotel. Otherwise it sucks, we will miss them like we do every year.

I may be hit and miss again during all of this. I have been very lazy, bored, and tired lately.

Hope everyone has a great weekend.

A little something to look forward to, I hope....

I asked Kale to look into what it will take for me to visit him during the second half of his tour. Probably around our anniversary in Feb. It is a big one, like I said it's the big TEN. If I get to go then it will be the first "vacation" we will have taken alone since Lilly was born.

This is what we know so far:

1) I have to have a passport. That's $100 right there. I have "fixed" not having to pay for that ourselves by telling my parents that I want it for Christmas. Even if I don't get to go it will still be good for 10+ years I think.

2) I have to fly from here to Jacksonville and take the shuttle to the Navy base where I will fly on a military plane into Guantanamo Bay. We have to pay for both flights. So far the flight from here to JAX is looking to be about $140, not too bad. We don't know how much the other flight is yet, he is looking into it.

3) The flights from the base are always early in the morning, so I will have to fly into JAX and rent a hotel room for a night. I am not really comfortable going to a hotel by myself, I haven't travelled alone since I was 18 and more adventurous.

4) When I get to Cuba I can't stay in his room, so we will have to stay in guest lodging while I am there. That's okay though, there is more privacy there then in his house. Plus his room only has a twin bed and we haven't slept in a twin bed together since we were dating. I think we both take up a little more room than we used to. :P

5) Judy has already said she would come take care of the kids for us. :) I knew she would, but it's nice she offered when I mentioned going to visit Kale.

6) On the way back I should be okay to catch a flight out of JAX after arriving at the Base and taking the shuttle to the airport. That's the way we set up Kale's ticket for Christmas so he has as much time home as possible.

I am excited at the prospect of visiting him and being alone for our anniversary for the first time in 10 years. He's excited so his second half won't feel as long as the first half. I just hope the military plane ticket isn't pricey, that could put a crimp in our plans.

I miss....

I miss having a clean house every day. (But not enough to get my lazy butt off the couch apparently)

I miss not having to leave my house if I didn't want to. (But not enough to want to home school)

I miss having my husband's help. (3 more months until he's home for a visit)

I miss my husband. (That should have been a given, but I didn't realize just how much I would miss HIM)

I miss the time when all I needed to buy my children was clothing, food, and toys. (But I am glad they are in school)

I miss SLEEP! (But not enough to give Delilah back)

I miss when my biggest worry for my kids was if they feel and hurt themselves. (Instead of worrying about who their friends are, if they are having a good time at school, or worse)

I miss a time when our house was half as full of junk. (But not half the children that caused the junk coming into the house)

I miss not having to get up at 7am every single morning. (But not enough to home school)

I am full of contradictions today (most days). I want this but without having to do that. Some days I want life to be easy, but then it might be boring. I am just not sure what's up with me this last few days. I am hoping it's just the gloomy weather. It's been cloudy, gray, and rainy for three days now and will remain this way all weekend. It sucks. I wanted to start walking in the morning today, but it was raining steadily and I couldn't. I have also been very lonely since Judy left. I know she drives me crazy, but not having another adult in the house makes me sad. I am going to try and pull out of this funk by Monday. Of course having not much money hasn't helped my mood any, I am not used to being so restrained.

Aidan also was having a bit of trouble in school this week, trouble keeping her hands to herself. When the teacher told me I felt as if I had been kicked in the stomach. I talked to her and my mom talked to her and she seems to be keeping it together. I know she gets teased a little for being tiny, it was the same way for me in school. BUT it's not an excuse or reason to ever put her hands on someone else. So I explained that to her and told her other kids won't want to be friends with her if she hurts them, I think that's the one that got through to her. She loves having friends. But it still sucks that I have to have a conversation with her about this. I am not sure where she gets it from, we rarely spank (once in a blue moon) and it's never a punishment for hitting, normally it's used for dangerous situations (doesn't happen that often). Plus Lilly and Sophia don't hit, never have. I firmly believe the reason Aidan hits is because she was in daycare from 18mths to 24mths, when they learn that behavior. Still not an excuse, but I think that's why she hits and Lilly and Sophia don't. Lilly was only in daycare from 4-4 1/2 and Sophia has never gone. Aidan was always getting bit and pushed by the other toddlers, that's one of the big reasons I quit college the second time. That and they were getting so sick all the time. I wish I had never left them, it's one of my mommy guilts I have been hanging onto all these years.

Maybe it's because Kale is gone, I don't know but I don't like it. My mom is researching different consequences that would be appropriate and is trying to find books for her to read about bullying. We will see if she continues or if we have to try something new with her. I don't want her to be disliked and I don't want other parents looking at her or I with disgust. Wish me luck, I may need it.

Ready to Go HOME!

I am just so ready to go home. I knew I should have told Judy I preferred things to go the way they would have if Kale hadn't left. She was supposed to fly out, then after a few days fly back with the three older girls. Then we were going to drive there with Delilah after two weeks. Well she didn't think I could drive with Delilah by myself, so she suggested that she fly out as planned, cancel their tickets, and drive with me there and back. I knew it was a bad idea, but I didn't want to hurt her feelings by saying "Uh, yeah, I don't want to be with you for an entire month." But it's true, I used to be able to, but since she spent the month with us last summer we just can't take it. Kale said he doesn't know how he lived with her for so many years. I told him it's just because she is getting older. It seems the older she gets the more of a martyr she becomes.

Here are my biggest complaints (all kept inside or voiced only to Kale or Rosy):

1) I was told I would essentially get the month off from waking up with Delilah, it lasted only one night. While I don't expect them to take care of my kids, I don't appreciate being told something and then having it taken back.
2) Listening to her on the phone, in front of me, complaining about what a burden it is to have the kids and I here. How much she has to do everyday and that the kids are wild banshees that she is trying to tame. Yeah RIGHT! The banshees thing is true because she stops me and always has stepped in and overruled me. Normally Kale puts a stop to it immediately, but he is not here. I don't like starting fights with family so I grit my teeth and bear it. I am not a big fan of people talking bad about others Right.In.Front.Of.Them! She should be decent enough to talk about us behind our backs like normal families, I do it about her.
3) When she says she is going to for example give the baby a bath, then starts doing something else. She will have said "You feed Delilah and I will bathe her" so I feed her. Delilah is now covered in food and she is no where near coming to give her a bath. So I freaking do it myself, it's quicker and less aggravation.

I honestly thought coming here would be a break. So far the only break I am getting is from housework and some of the cooking. I am just so ready to go home. I miss MY family who do as they say they will and don't make promises they don't plan on keeping. I also never thought I'd miss my husband this much, it's very hard being apart.

You know what's not fun?

1) Spending 3hrs in Wal-mart with my MIL and a crabby 9mth old.

2) Spending 30-45mins of those 3hrs helping her pick out a new telephone system.

3) Explaining the difference between the phones and making a recommendation, which she takes but not after deliberating for 20mins.

4) Feeding Delilah while she sits in the cart in the aisle while my MIL deliberates.

5) Delilah falling asleep for the 30min car ride, waking up as soon as the car stops, is still tired but won't go back to sleep.

It's not been a good trip so far. I hope it gets better from here.

I love music...

The new artist I love is Kate Voegele. I heard her the first time on my beloved One Tree Hill and now I am hooked. She does a rendition of Hallelujah that knocks your socks off. I love that song even though it makes me cry when I listen to it. She does a beautiful job singing live even.

I have very odd taste in music. I love most any music, as long as it is sung well, has a good beat, or has a good message. When people sit in the car with me as I listen to IPod they are confused. Until I was 13 I listened to nothing but oldies. Elvis was my very favorite, I even made my parents take me to Graceland when I was 10. What 10 year old does that? Then I started liking more popular music, rap (what rap used to be, not the crap nowadays), hip-hop, alternative, even some country. Now? Pretty much if it has a good beat and a message I enjoy I will like it. One of my all time favs is Green Day. I like them a lot because they write all their music. Plus the reason they are called Green Day was because a principal told them it would be a "green day in hell" before they made it as a band. I am a sucker for a cool story.

I like music, it calms me, motivates me, comforts me, gets me fired up, or keeps me moving.

Just for fun here are the first 20 artists on my Napster play list (ABC order):

10,000 Maniacs
Aerosmith
Alabama
Alan Jackson
Alanis Morrissette (Loved her in You can't do that on Television)
The All American Rejects
Aqua
Ashlee Simpson
Avril Lavigne
The B-52's
Baha Men
Barenaked Ladies
Beck
Ben E. King
Billy Joel
Billy Ray Cyrus (I also have Miley and Metro Station with his son Trace Cyrus)
Binge
Blessid Union of Souls
Blink 182
Bowling for Soup

Reasons Being a Mother Grosses Me Out

Reason#1 Picking apple chunks out of a two year olds teeth (shudder)

Reason#2 Changing a fully potty trained childs poopy pull up (gag)

Reason#3 Any kind of blood in large amounts (Just thinking about when Aidan slipped on the tile
with wet feet while wrapped in a towel thus splitting her chin wide open sends shivers through my body)

Reason#4 When the two year old dips her hands in the toilet and licks them (EWWW)

Reason#5 When I discover my then 7 year old has a booger wall (My brother had a booger wall and pillow case he shoved up his nose and twister while he sucked his thumb) I have been able to convince her that tissues are much better and it's not very princess like to wipe them on the wall, THANKFULLY

Reason#6 When the 6 year old farts loudly at the dinner table (One of my biggest pet peeves, my husband and his parents do it all the time, disgusting)

Reason#7 Vomit any kind of vomit (GAG)

Reason#8 When visibly dirty hands that I know have been in noses, butt cracks, and mouths (and God only knows where else) want to hold my hand when I have nothing to wash them with (And of course I hold it, even though I can feel the nasty all over me)

Reason#9 Finding a sippy cup with curdled milk in it under a bed/couch/chair/carseat (GAG)

Reason#10 Babies wiping their sticky yucky snotty nose on my shoulder as I hold them

Reason #1 Why I wouldn't change any of it for all the money in the world:

Some of my hopes and dreams and other random blathering

I have always wanted to live in NYC. At least for one year of my life. Kale has no interest in doing this, but since I can get him to do whatever I want we will see. I have been there to visit once and it was just as wonderful as I imagined.



I want all four of my girls to finish college, then get married and have kids. We have a plan to try and coerce them into doing this. We will only pay for their wedding AFTER they graduate for college. If they don't go, they have to find their own way of paying for it. Plus we will pay for their college education, the way my parents paid for my bro's and would have/will pay for mine.



We are pretty much set on living in Florida when Kale retires from the Army. I am really getting sick and tired of cold. I would rather be dripping in sweat then freezing any day. My in-laws say we will be sick of it, but I highly doubt it. I could be proven wrong, but it's not likely.



I want to be a size 5 again, probably never going to happen, but I can still dream. I am hoping that I am not going to give up on this dream, at least the dream to be thin again. I am not looking to wear a bikini or a shirt that shows off my midriff, I just want to look good in my clothes. I could never wear a bikini again anyways, my stretch marks go up and down, side to side, from above my belly button to my pubic bone. It's not a pretty sight.



I want things to go back to the way they were before we moved to MA. I want Kale to be my everything again. This probably won't happen until it's just the six of us alone somewhere. But without all the stresses we had in MA.



I want my cousin to stop being a loser, step up, and care for her son.



I want my kids (especially Lilly and Aidan) to stop fighting constantly. They don't physically fight, but the verbal kills me.



Since weekends are slow on blogs, I figured I may as well not get into anything deep.



My weekend plans are pretty boring, this weekend. Lilly, Kale, and Aidan are camping until Sunday evening. It's just Sophia, Delilah, and I for the weekend. The only plans I have are to go to Kohl's to spend the Kohl's cash we got last weekend when we bought the suit. It expires Saturday (I wrote this Friday morning and had it "scheduled" to post). Other than that I will probably just hang out with my parents all weekend. I could call my girlfriends from high school, but I won't, even though they have been bugging me since before x-mas to get together. I haven't seen my one friends new house yet and she hasn't seen Delilah yet. Pretty sad we live only minutes away from each other and never see each other. I don't do much with her cause her boyfriend creeps me out. My other good friend works nights as a nurse, so she is always sleeping during the day. Also she is not a "kid person". See how many excuses I can come up with?



Hope you have a nice weekend!

100th Post

100 Places I have been

Instead of doing a list 100 things about me for my 100th post I thought this might be more interesting. I am going to try and do all the links for these places, in case you might be interested in visiting one of them.


1) Disney World, FL
2) Sea World, FL
3) Parkesdale Farm Market, FL
4) Gatorland, FL
5) Lowry Park Zoo, FL
6) Universal Studios, FL
7) Central Florida Zoo, FL
8) Bathtub Reef Beach Stuart, FL
9) Sharky's Panama City Beach, FL
10) Knoxville Zoo, TN

11) Riverbanks Zoo and Garden Columbia, SC
12) Newport Aquarium Newport, KY
13) New England Aquarium, Boston
14) Underwater Adventures Aquarium, Mall if America, MN
15) Mall of America, MN
16) Worlds of Fun, KC MO
17) Oceans of Fun, KC MO
18) Hershey Park, PA
19) Darien Lake Darien, NY
20) Louisville Zoo, KY

21) Cincinnati Zoo, OH
22) Omaha Zoo, NE
23) Topeka Zoo, KS
24) Animal Land, Wellsboro, PA
25) Pennsylvania Grand Canyon
26) Mount Rushmore, WY
27) Wall Drug, SD
28) Badlands, SD
29) Yellowstone, WY
30) Glacier National Park, MT

31) Pikes Peak, CO
32) Dodge City, KS
33) Cola De Caballo, Mexico
34) Mexico
35) Niagara Falls, NY & Canada
36) Canada
37) Mammoth Caves, KY
38) Squire Boone Caverns, KY
39) Magic House, St. Louis
40) Boston's Children's Museum

41) Site of the Boston Tea Party
42) Plymouth Rock, MA
43) Gloucester MA
44) Statue of Liberty
45) The Old North Church, Boston
46) Bunker Hill Monument, Boston
47) Paul Revere's House, Boston
48) Curious Creatures Zoo, MA
49) Southwick's Zoo, MA
50) Capron Park Zoo, MA

51) Franklin Park Zoo, MA
52) Stone Zoo, MA
53) Kansas City Zoo, MO
54) Red Barn Farm, MO
55) Apple Fest, MO
56) KC Renaissance Festival, KS
57) Kaufman Stadium for Royal's games, MO
58) Arrowhead Stadium for Chiefs games, MO
59) Deanna Rose Children's Farmstead, KS
60) St. Louis Arch, MO


61) Richmond Canal Cruise, VA
62) Yankee Candle Factory, MA
63) Empire State Building, NYC
64) Sears Tower, Chicago
65) Chicago Harbour Boat Tour
66) Watkins Glen State Park, NY
67) Watkins Mill, MO
68) Weston Bend State Park, MO
69) Frog Pond on Boston Common
70) Crazy Horse Memorial, WY
71) Corn Palace, SD
72) Scott's Bluff National Monument, NE
73) Chimney Rock National Historic Site, NE

Now I will list for the remaining numbers, the states I have been to. Because I am too lazy to link anymore places I have visited.
74) Maine
75) New Hampshire
76) Massachusetts
77) Connecticut
78) Rhode Island
79) New York
80) Pennsylvania and Ohio
81) New Jersey
82) Delaware
83) Maryland
84) Virgina and West Virgina
85) North and South Carolina
86) Georgia and Florida
87) Alabama and Louisiana
88) Arkansas
89) Tennessee and Kentucky
90) Illinois and Indiana
91) Kansas and Missouri
92) Nebraska and Iowa
93) South Dakota and Wyoming
94) Montana
95) Colorado
96) Mississippi
97) Oklahoma
98) Texas
99) Minnesota
100) California

37 out of 50 states, not too shabby. I just wish I have been further out of the country other than Mexico or Canada.

I told you I would do/go most anything/anywhere. Can you tell my family likes #1 zoos and #2 national parks, monuments, historical sites?

Survey

I have been tagged by Allie @ Friday Night Ambulance to do a survey.


Here are the rules

1) Link to your tagger and post these rules on your blog
2) Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
3) Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
4) Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

Facts:

1) I hate having my picture taken. More so now than when I was young and still thin, but I have always disliked having it taken.

2) I also hate and avoid (as much as humanly possible) mirrors. Especially dressing room mirrors (shudder).

3) I love cats and someday will probably be the crazy old cat lady who screams at others children to get off my lawn while stroking a fat cat.

4) I always thought (when I was a teen) that I would marry for money, not looks or love. Boy was I WRONG, damn that love!

5) I almost always get my way in most everything that happens in my life.

6) When I was first dating my husband I had to ask everyone of my friends if they thought he was good looking or not. I am not saying he's ugly, but I was 18yrs old and shallow as all hell, he's not as good looking as all the guys I dated before him. But he treated me well and all those "good looking" guys were assholes, so I think they did me a favor telling me he was just as good looking as anyone else I dated. For the record he thinks I was out of his league too (and everyone he worked with).

7) I feel bad for him that I don't look the same as before. But he tells me repeatedly that when he looks at me he thinks only of the woman he loves, not my size. Not to mention he isn't exactly what he used to be (bald and hairier) ;P



Wow, can you tell my mood is a little off today. I must really be hating my looks today, could it be maybe that today is FAMILY PICTURE DAY! At least I only have to be in two pictures, the one of my kids, Kale, and I, then the one of EVERYBODY all 14 of us. Wish us luck that we have a quick session and no tears from me because I coordinated this and well frankly sometimes my brother or father can be an ass.

Oh and as for tagging others, I am not up to it so I will leave it up to my readers to decide if they want to the survey or not.

75 Things About My Life

1) I love going to the zoo, any zoo.
2) It bugs me when parents at the zoo don't tell the children the actual name of the animal they are looking at. If it's a gorilla please don't call it a big monkey. If you don't want to call it a gorilla at least call it an ape, monkeys have tails.
3) When I hear people telling their kids the wrong name I usually (very loudly) announce to my kids "Hey girls look at the GORILLAS".
4) My kids can tell you most any animals name, if it's a carnivore or not, and most of it's behaviors.
5) On the second day of kindergarten Aidan's class was reading the Kissing Hand and in the story the raccoon goes to school at night. Her teacher asked the kids if they knew why and Aidan is the only one who raised her hand. She replied "UH, because he's a raccoon and they are nocturnal." in her "duh" voice. Her teacher asked her what that meant and she said "It means they sleep during the day and are awake at night." All while rolling her eyes.
6) Aidan is going to be trouble. Scratch that. She IS trouble.
7) I have trouble accepting when people lack common sense and I think I am being punished for this, since Lilly lacks a lot of common sense.
8) I am a lot like my dad.
9) One of my mom's sisters calls me Rick Jr.
10) I have a very dirty mind.
11) I have a sick sense of humor.
12) I don't share either of these things with people I don't know really well.
13) When people meet me they probably think I am very reserved.
14) Until they get to know me.
15) Then they think I am pretty sick.
16) I hate to talk religion and politics with people, it just causes fights.
17) I don't care what religion or political affiliation anyone is. As long as they make me feel comfortable to be around them, I could care less.
18) My brother was an amateur stand up comic until he was married.
19) He's pretty funny, but said the F word in his act too much. It made people feel uncomfortable.
20) He even did a set in Boston when I was living there. It was really cool.
21) He is MUCH more outgoing than I am.
22) Teachers who had me first used to comment to him about how much quieter I was.
23) I played volleyball and softball in high school.
24) I would do anything for anyone I considered a friend or anyone in my family.
25) Because of this I have had "friends" take advantage of my loyalty.
26) That made me choose my friends much more carefully.
27) I think my name will be weird when I am an old lady.
28) My grandma picked really unusual names for some of her kids. I have aunts named Melvina, Yulanda, and Patience. Her other two kids were Cindy and Ricky, Ricky is kinda weird for a guys name.
29) I like the way she said my name Steph-knee is how it sounds when she says it.
30) She drove like a maniac.
31) She is really sick right now and in the hospital. She can't speak and I haven't been able to talk to her in over a month. (Since I wrote this she has passed)
32) She used to get so mad playing cards with my grandpa. She used to rip the deck of cards all to pieces when she lost.
33) I am competitive, but I can hide it better than that.
34) We get our tempers from my dad's side.
35) I get the holding grudges from my mom though.
36) I would much rather my dad be mad at me than my mom. He is mad for a short period of time and is loud and yells a lot. But she is quiet mad and for a long time. You feel like you'd rather be dead than have her be mad at you.
37) I don't even like it when she is mad at anyone else and I am around her.
38) She knew before I did that I was pregnant.
39) My mom and I did not get along while I was in high school. Now she is one of my closest friends.
40) I hope that I am firm with my girls like my mom was with me, but I hope they don't fight me as much as I fought her.
41) I was a colicky baby. I used to scream all day long.
42) My mom used to spend the day with family while my dad was at work. She was afraid to be alone with me.
43) She thinks I am a better mother than she was.
44) I think I will have to wait and see about that. If my kids turn out like my brother and I did, then I will know I was at least as good as a mother as her. If they turn out like my sil (Kale's sister), I will know I failed.
45) She keeps my kids one night a week over night, well the oldest 3.
46) I have 8 biological aunts and 1 biological uncle. I used to have 2 uncles but one died when I was 18mths old.
47) He died in a car accident. He was drunk and trying to return my aunts car before she arrived home from work. He was only 16.
48) His death and his story kept me from drinking and driving. Or even riding with anyone who had been drinking.
49) It didn't stop my brother.
50) I was very happy when his wife started dating him.
51) She got him to quit drinking.
52) He was so WILD in college. I hated when the phone rang late at night. I was scared it would be my dad telling me my brother had died.
53) My brother and I fought so much as children. We get along so well now. It's really weird.
54) My oldest two are just like us. My mom says I deserve it.
55) She also says I deserved Delilah being a hard baby.
56) I better get good teens, I deserve that. I was really good, too good in fact.
57) I only caused them panic ONCE.
58) When I was 18 (but still had a month left in high school) I flew to CA to meet with my boyfriend, who was 28. I didn't tell them I was going and they found out soon after I left.
59) She finally stopped bringing it up a few years ago.
60) I had to beg her to stop. I mean COME ON, it's the ONE thing I ever did.
61) I was famous in my high school for it. I didn't really want to be famous for it though.
62) I have never done any drugs.
63) I drank a lot though.
64) For my senior year spring break my best friend Lesley, our exchange student Mareike, a guy named Steve from our graduating class, and I went to Panama City Beach.
65) We had a blast.
66) I did things that I won't mention on here. None of them involved drugs. All of them involved alcohol.
67) My aunt lived in Panama City and my cousin who is 3 yrs older than me hung out with us. Until he threatened a guy I was talking to and tried to beat him up. He left after that, he couldn't stand seeing me as an adult.
68) I got a tattoo on that trip. A rose on my right ankle.
69) My mom has a "tramp stamp", she got it when she was 45. She's a principal and was a teacher so she got an apple. It looks like a strawberry w/o seeds.
70) My dad thinks tattoos are stupid. Also he thinks hickeys are trashy.
71) The first time I ever made out with a guy he gave me hickeys that covered my neck, both sides and along my jawline.
72) My dad didn't notice, neither did I. Until my mom told me I should go look in the mirror.
73) I was so embarrassed. My punishment was I had to call my dad at work and tell him.
74) He told me how trashy he thought it made girls look.
75) I haven't had one since.

I am cheating and posting this before 12am, but time stamping it that way. I will post Florida: Part 2 on Friday.

50 Things About Me (The birth edition)

1) I was blonde until High School.
2) I hate that my hair darkened after each pregnancy.
3) I am 28 and have quite a few gray hairs.
4) I have been pregnant 5 times.
5) But I only have 4 children.
6) I lost my 4th baby at 16wks 5days.
7) It was the hardest day of my life.
8) I was never able to find out what the sex of the baby was.
9) I was kind of glad they couldn't tell me.
10) It still hurts to think about it.
11) I was pregnant again 4mths after my miscarriage.
12) I worried everyday up until I was 17wks.
13) I even purchased my own heart doppler to hear the babies heartbeat every day.
14) It made me feel a little better.
15) Delilah is born exactly 1yr to the day of my miscarriage.
16) I was very worried the whole day, until she was born and crying.
17) She had the cord wrapped around her neck three times, but we didn't know it until she was born.
18) It never affected her heartbeat as I was in labor and giving birth.
19) Sophia was born "sunny side up" or face up.
20) I didn't know it until after she was born.
21) She's the only birth that required me to have stitches.
22) I had my first child naturally.
23) I had epidurals with the rest.
24) I was also induced with the rest.
25) Aidan was born 5mins after I received my epidural.
26) I never even got numb, they never gave me the medicine.
27) I told them she was coming out after I sat up for my epidural.
28) I went from 4cm to 10cm in 20mins.
29) I had to wait an hour for my doctor to get out surgery to push Sophia out. The epidural had nearly worn off.
30) It was hard.
31) I had to wait 45mins for the doctor to get back to the hospital to push Delilah out. My epidural had worn off and they were waiting for my doctor to get there for me to push or the anesthesiologist to get there to give me a booster. My doctor came first.
32) It was even harder.
33) My husband missed Aidans birth.
34) He was in MPI (military police investigation) school.
35) My MIL and mom were with me and he came later that evening.
36) My mom was at each of my births as well as my miscarriage.
37) I have seen my best friend give birth.
38) I didn't intend to.
39) We were having such a good time hanging out, she finally asked me if I wanted to stay for the birth.
40) It was a very late night, she didn't give birth until after 1am.
41) I tried very hard not to see all her "bits and pieces".
42) The nurse made it very hard to avoid.
43) I am not a screamer during birth. I am very calm and cool.
44) I am this way because I would be mortified of my behavior if I were to scream and carry on.
45) My first child Lillyanna was 7lbs 10ozs and 21" and she was born 38.5 wks into the pregnancy.
46) My second child Aidan was 8lbs 6ozs and 21" and she was born 39wks into the pregnancy.
47) My third child Sophia was 8lbs 7.5ozs and 22" and she was born 38.5wks into the pregnancy.
48) My fourth and final child Delilah was 8lbs 6.5ozs and 19" and she was born 38wks into the pregnancy.
49) I was on bed rest for the last month of my pregnancies with Sophia and Delilah.
50) I have four daughters and I don't plan on having anymore children.

The Anniversary Post

Our Engagement Picture

Two Pictures from our Ceremony
I was HUGE!

I have now been married for nine years, woo hoo! Sense a lack of true enthusiasm? Sorry, I will try and do better next year, when I get my big honking ring! That's our deal, our ten year anniversary I get a big honking ring and he gets a new wedding band. Currently neither of us wear wedding rings, that's new though. I lost mine two years ago, I am still pretty sad about it. Even though I didn't like the style (marquis cut, not my thing) it was still my engagement ring and wedding band. Kale doesn't wear his anymore because his finger is too fat to wear it anymore. Plus he lost a diamond out of it and was too lazy to dig out the receipt and diamond bond, so it was never fixed.

Okay here goes I will list 9 things about US:

1) I met him when he came to a party at my house. His roommate was dating mine. I was really drunk and with another guy. Kale hit on my 14 year old cousin (she really did look 18) and I let him have it. I didn't like him much after that.

2) I honestly can't tell you why I gave him a second chance. Usually first impressions last a lifetime with me and he certainly didn't make a good one.

3) I can't even remember why we started dating, he wasn't my normal type. He asks me all the time why I married him and I always answer with "because you were nice to me."

4) He waited on my hand and foot while we were dating. I miss that now. I tell him all the time it was false advertising.

5) I almost broke up with him during a rough patch before we got engaged. I found out later the reason I was being such a bitch was hormones from my first pregnancy. I am lucky he stayed with me.

6) Before we were married I had only met his parents once, for dinner.

7) He didn't think my mom liked him, but she really was his biggest supporter. During our rough patch she's who made me "see the light". She told me to picture him with another woman and asked me if I could live with that picture. Obviously I couldn't.

8) He asked me to marry him on Christmas day 1998. I was 18 and he had just turned 20.

9) It took him forever to stop calling him his last name. When I was introduced to him by his buddies (all in the army) they called him by his last name, so I did. For a long time. Now it would be odd to call him that.

Reasons it's time to GO!

1) She's been here for two days and is already bitching that she is tired. (Okay, I get it, I have four kids. No one knows this better than I. But you are only here for five days, SUCK IT UP!)

2) She's rolled her eyes at me so many times I want to gouge them out.

3) She has questioned my eating choices one too many times. All while eating everything in sight AND bitching about her own weight. (I don't complain about my weight, I may not like being fat, but I don't bitch to ANYONE but my husband about it.)

4) She's been here two freaking days and is bitching about the children, already.

5) I am thinking about running away to be alone tomorrow.

6) My husband has disappeared, stayed late at work, and claimed headaches. And this is HIS mother.

7) I have had my mothering techniques questioned and ignored more than once.

8) All of the inane questions.

9) When it takes 15 minutes to pick out a box of TISSUES!

10) The constant assumption that we ignore or neglect our dog. (I promise we don't. She just doesn't like that he gets fed once a day, before we go to bed, and is fed only one big scoop of food as per vets orders.)

11) I was JUST asked if I have checked on the time for a girl scout function that is happening on Sunday, AGAIN! (Because you know I am stupid and forget things ALL the time.) (She does this because ONCE I forgot to take my daughter to a girl scout meeting, last freaking year. Plus I didn't really forget, I was pregnant and fell asleep.)

12) The way she screams HELLO THERE on the cell phone when she calls people, thus waking the peacefully sleeping baby.

13) The constant SHHHH as she is watching "the Idol", when other people are visiting with us in our house.

14) Questioning our decision to take Lilly's baby blanket away from her, again. (She is 8yrs old, it's not a security thing anymore. I had it away from her three times before at 5yrs old and 6yrs old and each time I am made to feel like a bad mommy for taking it from her.)

15) Hearing her make excuse after excuse for my crazy F*ed Up SIL. (Someday I will do a whole series on my SIL. It might take a whole month to tell all her shit.)

This has been a pleasant couple of days. And on top of her shit, I am getting a cold. Plus it's been so cold here lately and it snowed again, she has been bitching about the weather and how warm/cold I keep my house at night.

25 Things about Me

1) I am the only one in my immediate family to NOT graduate from college.

2) I don't really care.

3) I believed in Santa until I was 13.

4) My mom kept us believing by saying"Do you really want to stop believing in someone who brings you that much stuff?"

5) I didn't know what "69" meant until I was 16 and my friends had to explain it to me.

6) I was my husbands first and only partner, I didn't find this out until after we'd been married for 7yrs.

7) I have worn glasses since first grade, Aidan got hers after preschool but before Kindergarten.

8) I was 110lbs when I got pregnant with my first, I have never come close to that weight again.

9)I have never cheated on my husband, never even thought about it.

10) I loved being pregnant, but my body can't handle another.

11) I want to adopt my cousins baby boy.

12) I have held only three jobs, all three lasted exactly a year.

13) My last job I was a paraprofessional in an Autistic classroom.

14) I loved my job.

15) I quit after one school year because I was pregnant.

16) I gained 30lbs the last 2mths of my first pregnancy.

17) It was because I had quit working and slept all day while my husband was at work.

18) The doctor thought I had toxemia. Turned out I just ballooned due to lack of movement.

19) I was in the top 20% of my graduating class and graduated with honors.

20) I had a full ride scholarship for the first two years of college. I only used one of them.

21) I was born in Wellsboro PA at Soldiers and Sailors Memorial Hospital.

22) Most of my family was born in that hospital, immediate and extended.

23) My parents moved us from PA to KS in 1983, my dad was in the army.

24) I have one sibling, a brother named Jason. He is 2yrs 1mth and a few days younger than me.

25) My mom is a principal for a special day school for ED (emotionally disturbed) children, she also teaches at a local college, and places exchange students for PAX. My dad is a paramedic and works IT for a local casino. They are way more ambitious than I.

20 Facts About My Wedding

#1) I was engaged at 18 and married just after I turned 19. My husband was 20. He proposed to me on Christmas Day, but I already knew he was going to and had seen the ring. Two weeks later I found out I was pregnant.

#2) I was pregnant before I was married, but engaged at the time. I always feel I have to explain this to people. I am a little ashamed I was not married before I was pregnant, but it bothers me greatly that I am so ashamed. I also make a joke about practicing "bundling" when I have to explain myself to the raised eyebrows when people subtract my wedding date and my daughters b-day.

#3) I had two weddings, both in a Mormon Church. My husband and I are not Mormon, but the Chapel on Post wouldn't marry us in my current "predicament". We were lucky that the pastor of the Mormon Church was a friend of the family and his son had a similar "situation".

#4) During both weddings Steve the pastor made references to how much we must "love" to spend "time" with each other. This embarrassed me, especially when the whole church roared with laughter after his joke.

#5) I didn't make most of the decisons during the planning of my 2nd wedding, the one for family and friends. I was 8mths pregnant at the time and let my mom make all of the choices. I secretly felt I didn't have the right to choose because of my "situation".

#6) I ate nothing but a roll at my reception. My mom insited on meatloaf and new potatos as the dinner, with vegetables I don't eat. My grandma offered to get me a pizza, I love her for that. The photographer made me switch plates with my Maid of Honor for pictures.

#7) My sister-in-law is a major bitch and I learned this on my wedding day. She left the reception after 30mins, making her mom drive her back to the hotel. It was all a tantrum over her "creative differences" with the photograper. She felt like she was being left out of the picture, so not true, she was just not in the CENTER of the picture.

#8) My best friend and maid of honor de-virginized a 16 year old boy after the reception, in my parents basement. I was very angry at her and didn't speak to her for a month. We don't "speak" anymore, e-mail and my space are about it.

#9) My grandmother and grandfather refused to be in a picture together with me. They are divorced and neither of their spouses came with them. It was the first time they had spoken, outside of a court room, in 28yrs.

#10) I danced to butterfly kisses with my dad for the daddy daughter dance. I hate that song, but could find nothing better. I dedicated the song Mama by the Spice Girls to my mom, that song still makes me cry. My husband sang Keeper of the Stars to me during our ceremony, no one got it on video. We danced to Shana Twain's From this Moment as our first dance together.

#11) I hate to be the center of attention and tried to hide at my own wedding.

#12) My mom made my dress for me, altering a maternity dress pattern. It is very pretty. I hope none of my girls ever wear it in their wedding. She choose to tell me that I needed a slip for my dress FIVE mins before the ceremony. She tried to convince me to take my underwear off, to which I replied "I'd rather people see my big white panties, then the big black bush!" That shut her up.

#13) My friends from High School were shocked to see me on my wedding day, I was HUGE. I felt the need to explain I had already been legally married for months and that we were in fact engaged before I found out I was pregnant.

#14) I almost wouldn't get married for fear that everyone would assume I only got married because I "had" to. My mom convinced me I was being stupid and it was a better idea to get married now, get on my husbands health insurence, and move in to military housing before the baby came.

#15) The day before the wedding my mother in law made me cry, she told me I looked like I was carrying a boy. We had decided to wait to find out the sex of our first and I so wanted a girl.

#16) The most beautiful wedding gift we recieved was for the baby. A handmade, wooden cradle. The man who lived next door to my family for years made it especially for me. I miss him terribly.

#17) My flower girl was my cousin, she was 10. I was 9 when I was her mom's flower girl and her mom was 10 when she was my moms flower girl. She is getting married this summer and I am a little disappointed she hasn't asked my daughter to be her flower girl, she will be 9 before the wedding. She did ask me to be in her wedding though, this terrifies me.

#18) My mom offered us the cash she would spend on the wedding, if we didn't have the big ceremony. Sometimes I wish we'd have taken the cash.

#19) My Aunt and I have the same wedding dates, both of them. She was in a similar "situation" when she got married. But she waited until after her daughter was born to have her ceremony. Actually quite a few women in my family have been in this "situation", my mom is not one of them. My paternal grandma was one of those women.

#20) I wore canvas tennis shoes that my mom made "prettier" with flowers and beads. Heels were out of the question.

There are 20 things you didn't need to know about my wedding.