My Husband....

He didn't start out as well "trained" as he is now. It took many years of training in fact.

When we were first married, after I quit my job (because WE decided it made more sense for me to stay at home) I did everything. And I mean everything, well not trash and mowing the lawn those are man jobs. I felt I should, I wasn't making money, but I controlled our finances. Up until Lilly was 2-3mths old Kale had maybe changed 5 diapers all of them wet not poopy. Finally I grew a little more confidant and decided it was his turn to help, so he was in trusted with bath duty every night (or morning, depending on the shift he was working).

When we moved to KY Lilly was 8mths old and we had been married for just a year. It was the best thing that could happen to us. We learned quickly to rely on each other and to work together as a team. I had never lived away from my parents and it was hard, but not too bad. Since gas prices were like a buck a gallon and I had a Saturn SL2 that got ridiculously good gas mileage, I could go visit them pretty much whenever the mood struck me. Plus my parents would miss us so much they would fly me home regularly. Kale only went with us on long weekends he was lucky enough to get a pass for, his leave time we always spent with his parents. We were (for the most part) blissfully happy.

Just before Lilly turned two I decided I wanted another baby. I had just lost 30lbs and was a glutton for punishment. We picked May to be the mth to conceive and boom I was pregnant. I am very lucky I tend (with the exception of Sophia) to get pregnant very quickly. When we discussed having another baby I told him he was going to have to help out around the house a little more. At this point he was only bathing Lilly, mowing the grass, and taking out the trash (anything else if I asked, but I rarely did). He agreed to start helping me a little more. -Oh how I miss my very clean house and well behaved only child, sometimes. I always miss my clean house. The sad thing is I never enjoyed it either because I always felt it was dirty.-

It really wasn't until we moved to MA that I really started making him help out. I was home 24/7 with the girls and he was gone more than 80hrs a week. This is when he had to give up giving baths and took on dishes, just loading the dishwasher to start. A few months into our lives there I stopped waking up at night with Aidan (she had just turned 1 when we moved there) and he had to get up with her. That probably was a mistake since she didn't start sleeping though the night until she was 3. When he went to BNOC (SSG School) Aidan had just turned 3. I found out then that the reason she woke up every night was he would give her cups of milk in the middle of the night to shut her up. I nipped that in the bud the first night. She was sleeping through the night within a week of him being gone. Will wonders never cease.

He changed a lot more diapers with Aidan and after we moved to MA I left him alone with them for the first time. I also started making him take one or both of them with him as he ran errands. Hey, If I had to there was no reason he couldn't, occasionally. Now? He gets sent with someone every time he leaves the house, usually who ever is being most difficult (Sophia). When we decided to have Sophia it took a year to get pregnant. After I finally got pregnant he was told to expect to help even more, he agreed. He changed diapers when he was home, he helped when he could at night, mostly just diapers since I was breastfeeding. But more and more as our family grew he helped.

Now, he does baths again, for everyone now. He empties and loads the dishwasher, he cleans all the animals cages/boxes, he picks the girls up from school, he takes them to and from girl scouts, he cleans the bathrooms, he basically does all the jobs I hate to do, and everything else I ask of him. Do I ever feel badly about this? Only occasionally. Delilah has been our most difficult baby, for the first 4mths if she wasn't being held she was screeching. She is getting better and better, especially when I quit breastfeeding (another blog for another time, killed me to stop). He condition is getting better, but she gets sick very easily still.

So it's going to be hard for me to be alone. I have slowly been giving up my jobs for the last nine years and to have them all back in an instant is going to be mind blowingly tough. I can do it, this I know. Still doesn't mean I want to.