Background Info

I will start by telling you a little bit about my aunt. She was adopted, within the family. Her grandfather, my grandfather's uncle, approached my grandparents with the idea for them to adopt my aunt. She hadn't been born yet and her mother was single, struggling, and had two other children to take care of. My aunt's father was long gone and her mother couldn't handle or afford another child. They agreed to take her, even though they had 6 other children, the youngest being 7. They raised her as their own, but she knew she was adopted. How could she not? My mother's siblings are all short, blonde, and have blue eyes. My aunt? Tall, dark brown hair, and deep brown eyes. She loves her family and hates the idea that she is adopted, this could be part of the reason why she is not as keen to the idea of us adopting Noah.

She met her birth mother under the worst circumstances ever. My uncle was killed in a drunk driving accident, an accident he caused. He was only 16 and everyone was understandably devastated. Her birth mother chose his funeral to be the place to introduce herself to my aunt. My aunt was only 10. My father ran her off quickly, but my aunt was already beside herself. She never forgave her birth mother and really who could blame her. Her birth mother had two children that she kept after my aunt was born, so out of five kids, she kept all but my aunt. That has to make a person feel special. When her birth mother died, she didn't care. She didn't go to the funeral and she prefers not to talk about her. She has never wanted to meet her "other" siblings or her father. She would just prefer to be the biological child of my grandparents.

My grandparents were already divorced when my uncle died. They divorced after 28 years of marriage, who does that? My mom was 16, so she didn't take it as rough. My aunt was only 7, so she really took it hard. Not long after the divorce my grandmother remarried, I consider this man my grandfather too. My mom is a wonderful mom, even though she knows that my grandpa is the reason her parents split up (they were having an affair) she never clouded our judgement of him. She allowed us to love him even though she frankly didn't like him. Anyways, he moved in with his three small children, all of them younger than my aunt. There was a lot of jealousy, as to be expected of this kind of arrangement. I am happy to say we have all gotten over this now and pretty much live as a big blended happy family. With the exception of my mom's dad hating my mom's mom and her hubby. And probably vise verse.

My aunt was a wild teenager. After my uncle's death my grandmother ran an airtight ship. Understandably so, she had lost her son to alcohol and didn't want to lose her baby. My aunt was very wild and ended up pregnant with my cousin at 18 and not married. She and my uncle got married, even though they treat each other horribly. Their house is filled with yelling, always has been. They got married and moved in with my grandfather. Eventually they moved in with us in KS. It was a tight fit back then. We had a three bedroom, tiny ranch house with 7 people living in it. I had to give up my room to them, temporarily. They lived in KS with us for awhile, but he was unhappy. So his dad got him a job in MT where they live, so they moved the four of them (by then they had their son too) to MT.

After a few years there, she was so unhappy being so far away from her family they moved again. This time to VA which was still far from PA, but closer than MT. My uncle didn't like when they lived in KS because every time he treated her badly she'd leave him and go to my mom. In MT and VA she had no where to go. Now while they were in MT she was rear ended badly, causing her to have chronic back and neck injuries. She can't work anymore because of her horrific pain. The lawyer they used was a friend of her mil and sucked major ass. He didn't get her any kind of settlement, even though it was the guy's fault and she is truly injured. I am not for sham litigation, but if you could see her, you would know how much it affects her life.

My cousin was allowed major freedoms, but had major limitations. She wasn't allowed to watch R movies or talk shows, but thong underwear at 12? A-Okay. I was appalled when she spent a week with me in MA at age 14, she was wearing skirts that she couldn't bend over in, tops only hookers should wear, and thongs. I knew she was headed in a bad direction. Plus she was so infatuated with this guy she was "seeing" she was on the phone all night to him. I had to unplug all my phone lines and take the batteries out of the cordless, so I wouldn't have to be the "bad guy" with her, I just pretended the phones were down. I didn't think it was appropriate, but I didn't want to be her mother, I am not her mother.

Her mother has never had any control over her, from the time she could walk. I used to babysit her almost every summer day and every weekends during the school year. They let her do whatever and if she threw a fit? She could get whatever she wanted. Her brother is the same way. They raised/are raising spoiled rotten brats. My aunt would threaten them, but never followed through. She yells at them constantly, but they don't listen. But they don't have to, there is no consequence to their actions.

This post is very long, so I will pick it up later.