Something Different

I decided to post something other than the remainder of my 4th of July pictures today. I mean my kids are cute, but even I get sick of looking at them all the time. :P

I was thinking about my previous "lives" today. I feel as if my life is lived in increments. First there was my childhood, then my teenage years, then the few years after high school, then the three years we lived in KY, then the three years of hell spent in MA, and then there is the present. Each time I think about these different periods of time I think of myself as a different person. Really each period I was a different person. I had a different life each place.

When Kale and I were living in KY just the three of us, I was happy. We didn't have much money and the only places we went for vacation were our parents houses, but we were happy. We had a couple that we hung out with regularly, they were our age, and she was pregnant when we met. After a few months though it all turned sour. We found out he was abusing her mentally and emotionally. He would not let her spend any money, not even on personal items like pads or razors, she had to use his used razors and his parents gave her gift cards to Walmart for other items. After I found out about this I encouraged her to leave him and she did. But she always came back. We got the chain of command involved, but his dad was a very influential retiree in their field of work and was able to get them moved to a new post. It was sad and I often think of her and how she is doing. I know he got out of the Army because he was being investigated for his spousal abuse and I know they are living back in Alabama. Other than that I don't know anything more. Other than that and a few other small newly wed issues our first four years of marriage flew by. We only needed each other to be happy. I wasn't homesick or lonely at all.

When we found out we were going to recruiting we were worried. We had heard horror stories, but were optimistic we could come though his tour unscathed. Boy were we wrong. It started with our duty station, Kale had an in who was going to get us into Orlando for assignment. Unfortunately he had a family emergency that forced him out of the office the day they made the assignments. The FL and KS areas were closed to us, Kale was neither African American or Hispanic, so to the northeast we were sent. At first I was not happy, but then I turned around and determined I would make the best of it. It was far away from everyone, but closer to my grandparents. Plus I had never seen Boston or NYC and I would be close enough to go to both. They told Kale that he would be able to do his job while grocery shopping with me or doing family things with us.

Yeah, they lied. They lied about everything. It pretty much sucked the entire first year. Our marriage nearly didn't survive. I almost didn't survive. Until I met K and started hanging out with her I really wasn't sure I was going to stay. She kind of saved my marriage/life. I was very down before we became friends. We started taking trips around MA and the area, going to zoos, the Yankee Candle Factory Outlet, NYC to Ikea, Ikea in CT, she introduced me to Ikea and I am disappointed now I am not near one. We did a lot of shopping, since the only positive factor about being on recruiting duty is the extra pay, it did not make up for all the bad factors however. Really the only thing that kept me semi sane other than K was shopping. It was hard adjusting when we moved back here.

Now that we are back in KS I am back to being a daughter on a daily basis. And a sister, aunt, sister-in-law, and friend I hadn't been these things in years. I love being here with my family, but part of me would like to go some where alone again as a family, like we were in KY. We need to start taking trips as a family again, without all the extra people in our lives. Don't get me wrong, I love being with our families, but it would be nice to be just us again.