Hmmmm.....

I read an article tonight on Foxnews titled "Why we are all insane". One part in particular explained my insanity perfectly:

Perhaps to check selfish urges, in favor of more probable means to biological success, social lubricants such as empathy, guilt and mild anxiety arose.

For example, the first of our ancestors to empathize and read facial expressions had a striking advantage. They could confirm their own social status and convince others to share food and shelter. But too much emotional acuity — when individuals over analyze every grimace — can cause a motivational nervousness about one's social value to morph into a relentless handicapping anxiety.

It describes me perfectly. I am constantly worried that if I say or do the wrong thing I will be dropped like a hot potato. And I am not talking about major offenses, I am talking about things like if I made a joke and the person barely laughed. I will obsess over every detail of the conversation to see what I might have done wrong and if that person will hate me forever. It will eat at me, especially if I don't get to speak to the person the following day. This is why I have been able to develop a chameleon defense, I can pretty much blend with any crowd. Of course now that I am an adult I don't need this defense often, I don't have to put myself in these positions often.

I also have way too much empathy. When something bad happens to someone in my life I take it on myself. Even if I am not directly involved. When someone is hurting that I love, I hurt as well. As if I were going through it myself. I try to keep it to myself, I am not sure if people find it annoying. I just can't help how I feel.

Overall it's a pretty interesting article.