First I would like to apologize for my foul language in my last two posts. I was typing so fast and furious I didn't even attempt to *** out some of the letters. While I do have a potty mouth, I know when and where it is appropriate to use.
Back to normal now....
No one told me just how hard this really was going to be. I cried last night on the phone with Kale, telling him just how hard it was and how upset I am that it's only 1/4 of the way over. I have been a mess this week. It's pretty bad when I am crying in my van when Gavin Rossdale's Love Remains the Same or Secondhand Serenade's Fall for You comes on the radio. -If you haven't heard either you should check them out, they are really good songs.-
I think my kids are handling this better than I am. I was fine the first couple of months, then school started and I have been home all day bored, just thinking of him. I am not having trouble dealing with the kids or dealing with the house. It's just the loneliness of it. I have not been apart from Kale for more than a month since I was 18, that's 10 years of being together. In February we will have been married for 10 years, he says he's finally going to buy me a big rock. :P But I have to wait until he comes back in June, he wants to be there with me when I pick it out.
I think it's the silence at night that bothers me most. He's been really good about calling me twice a day and emailing me everyday. I am happy when he calls, but I become even more sad when we have to hang up. It was easier for me in the beginning when I was so busy, but it was harder for him. At that time we didn't know that he can use state to state calling cards, which are WAY cheaper than the international ones he was using. I was also always busy and missed his calls often. He will have internet in his house again mid-Oct. and then it will be a little cheaper to talk. And I can talk to him all night long. Since he left my typing has improved, I was pretty good before, but now I am so much better.
In other news I have now lost nearly 15 pounds! I am excited. I am going to start walking to the school and back to pick up the girls on nice days, it's probably a 2-4 mile walk both ways. That will help. The "happy pills" have been helping to keep me away from sweets. I eat only what I need and I have even cut back to two 8oz pepsi's a day. I already drink a lot of water, so that's not a problem. I also started taking a multi vitamin to help with energy.
Well, my weekend is pretty busy. Lilly and Aidan both have parties to attend and on Sunday we are all going to the Renaissance Festival. It's been a beautiful week and it's supposed to continue for the weekend.
Hope everyone has a good weekend!
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4 comments:
i wish there was something i could say or do to make you feel better. :( i know there isn't, and i'm sorry.
i can't imagine what you are going through. it has to be so hard. Bryan and i have been together for 8 yrs this Oct. and I can't imagine being w/o him for a year.
sometimes now i think about it... and to be totally honest with you... i would kind of like it at first.. for a few months or weeks... i'm not sure how long... but only b/c i have never been alone... i have always been in a relationship... and i don't mean be alone so i could date or whatever... be alone so i could just be me... and me alone... of course i would still have the kids w/ me ... but it would be just me. but i'm sure that would get old fast... i do love my husband, although he gets on my nerves, i couldn't imagine it... not a whole year.
and my husband isn't the talk on the phone type... he is a few words then ready to hang up...so that would be a struggle and he wouldn't write letters or anything... i mean maybe if we were in that situaton. i'm not sure.
and although this won't make you feel better at all... but this is making your relationship stronger... every day that you two are apart it makes you heart grow more fond for one another... this is what will make you even stronger than you already are as a couple and also as individuals... to endure a year away from one another and be able to make it through... which i know you will... and then to be together you will know what you were missing... you will have him back. most couples don't get a break from one another to see how hard it is and how much they miss one another and that they couldn't or wouldn't survive w/o each other in thier lives... but you two get this time... and although it sucks majorily... it will only make you two stronger.
i'm not sure if any of this is making any sense at all, i'm just typing away, as usual... but i hope it does make some sense and make you feel a little bit better and most of all i hope that it helps you get through at least one extra day.
also even though i'm no subsitute for Kale or anyone... you can always talk to me... my crazy life, full of noise and chaos and all that shit... just might make you forget about yours for one second or make you feel so grateful for your life... compared to mine... lol just kidding.. but you know i'm always here for you.
xoxoxo
Congratulations. I've been really tired lately myself, I think my body is trying to get me to rest up for labor.
Marie-
Thanks!
I can imagine how tired you are, especially since Brad works a lot.
Jenn-
It was okay the first couple of months, I didn't really miss him. I missed his help, but not him. Now I just miss him and having someone to lay next to me all night long. I still sleep only on my side.
I went from my parents house, to a house with my 2 girlfriends, back to my parents house, and then in a house with Kale. I had never been without adults until now.
It really has brought us back to a place we haven't been together in five years.
Thanks for your thoughts, I appreciate them greatly. :)
Hey there. Hope you are having a good day!! :) Just thought I'd drop in and say hi. I just posted about the house info... and thought while I was on and signed in I would drop in.
Have a great weekend. i'll be back later tonight or tomorrow.
xoxoxox
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